SortaCrunchy

Simply Thrilled

One of my very favorite, never-miss-a-post blogs is one that I found via Rachel of Small Notebook last spring: Simple Mom.  I can hardly believe it's only been a year since I discovered Tsh and her outrageously encouraging, helpful, inspiring site.  The first post I can remember happening upon there was her recipe for Dutch Babies (which is still, by the way, a family favorite for weekend breakfasts).  There have been innumerable articles from Simple Mom that I've loved, some of my favorites being Classic Toys That Are Worth The Money, Twaddle-Free Books for Preschoolers, and her Home Management system (which is just sheer, simple genius).

Because I am such a long-time and enthusiastic fan of Tsh and Simple Mom, you have to know that today's announcement is HUGE for me:

As of this week, I am the new writer and editor of Simple Kids, the parenting-focused blog under the Simple Mom umbrella.

Pretty exciting stuff, right?  And honestly, the timing is quite perfect.  Writing for a blog that focuses on the simple, uncomplicated, joyful parts of parenting may be just the inspiration and motivation I need to stop worrying about a messy house, turn off the TV, and just enjoy this sweet and special time with my littles.

It would make my heart so happy if you have a minute to pop over to Simple Kids, check out the new design that Tsh put together, and say hi. 

What will this mean for SortaCrunchy and the work I have going on here?  Well, for the next week or so, I will ask for a measure of grace as I focus time and energy into getting Simple Kids up and going.  Once things are running smoothly over there, you can expect to see the usual SortaCrunchy stuff here - perhaps on an abbreviated posting schedule, but most definitely still here.

Thanks for letting me share my happy news with you today!

Wordless Wednesday: Blue and Green Make Aquamarine

ALSO - winner of Bold Avenue giveaway is commenter #12 - Denise - who said

I love their tote bags, especially the flower ones and the ducky family one.

Happy shopping, Denise! 

Noted

I do have actual content I could be sharing today, but I need to share a couple of more timely things with you first, things that can't even wait for 7 Quick Takes on Friday.  (Now watch, I'll have nothing to say on Friday.)

1) Today is the LAST DAY to enter the Bold Avenue gift certificate giveaway.  Come on, you know a little retail therapy is just the thing to take your mind off of the swine flu hoopla.  Go enter right now.

2) Marla shared her OKC Zoo pics today and said some really sweet, kind things about her stay here.  Bittersweet.  Why can't we live closer?  Notice AJ in the pictures - that's pretty much par for the course for her these days.  Uncooperative as all get out.  And please do try not to notice how much weight I've gained in the past year.  ugh.

3) Before Marla and her family arrived in our little town, she stayed with a lovely mama whom I've so enjoyed getting to know in the past few months - Elizabeth.  As it turns out, Elizabeth and I will finally get to meet next week at the Oklahoma Women Blogger's Meet and Greet!  I'm so super excited for this event, I can't even begin to tell you.

There are still a few spots left for any of you other Okie bloggahs who might like to come along, too.  (Sasha?  Holly?  Katy?  Yes, it's a long-ish drive from our side of the state, but looks to be so fun.  Come on!)  Deadline to sign up is MAY 1st!

That's about it for now.  I'll try to save the rest for Friday.  I do have an exciting announcement to make in the next day or so.  Stay tuned! :)

photo courtesy of tosaytheleast

Turnoff Week: How It Went

I've been dreading this post.  I even toyed with the idea of not even sharing this - ever.  Just pretending I didn't agree to the challenge last week and proceeding with regularly scheduled programming.

I went back and looked at the directions given at Unplug Your Kids for this challenge.  I noted that Phase Two of the Turnoff Week was:

Do your best to meet your goals from April 20-26. If you aren’t successful, it’s OK. What is important is to try, and to learn something from the experience.

Okay, so that gives me a little more freedom to be honest here.  Because Turnoff Week for us was mostly a gigantic FAIL.  Not a complete fail, more accurately a 60-65% fail.  Monday, Tuesday, and even Wednesday went great.  Monday and Tuesday we were my parents' house, and as I suspected, neither girl was interested in TV.  Of course, they had grandparents at the ready who were all-too-happy to read to them, color with them, and go sit outside for them for hours at a time.  Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were not great.  As in, I just gave up even trying to count the hours the TV had been on.  Yesterday was better, but we had church in the morning and evening to keep us pretty busy, too.

I've thought a lot about why this was so hard for us last week, and these are my conclusions:

1) bad timing - like I wrote last week, the past few weeks have just been enormously busy for our family, and we were out of town for days at a time.  By the time we finally landed mid-week, the house was a wreck, no one had clean clothes, and I simply didn't have the time or energy to devote to creating distractions to keep Dacey's mind off of the turned-off TV.  (As usual, AJ didn't care one way or the other if the TV was on or off.) 

2) poor planning and lack of discipline - this all ties in to the bad timing, too.  I had it in my mind that Turnoff Week started today, so I hadn't done anything concrete to prepare for a week of reduced TV time.  And so when Dacey was insistent on watching "Dacey shows," I caved pretty easily.  Additionally, towards the end of the week, I had a bout with monster headaches which happens to me every now and again.  This did not help or encourage me in my resolve to limit our TV time.

3) I realized throughout the week, I don't know how to do this.

(This is the part that is hard for me to share.  In my quest for ever-more authenticity, I know I need to write even that which makes me feel squirmy to deal with.)

There are just some parts of effective parenting that I don't know how to do.  I don't know how to go about doing the tasks I have to do to keep our home running without relying on the TV as a distraction for my children.

When I was preparing to be a classroom teacher, I got to spend a whole semester under the guidance of a veteran.  By the end of the first week of student teaching, my veteran had turned over five of her classes to me to teach on my own, but she was ever present in guiding and directing me.  We planned and talked through lessons together, she showed me the most efficient and effective ways to grade papers, she gave me feedback on classroom management and stepped in when it became necessary.  Every bit of that last semester of preparation I had before I was released into the wild was about collaboration.  She offered and I readily accepted her tried-and-true wisdom on how to be an effective teacher.  I learned so much more than I could have ever learned in textbooks on pedagogy.  I left student teaching with a model in mind of how to teach language arts to high schoolers.

I don't feel like I have a good model of what day-to-day effective home management (minus TV) looks like.  I most certainly can devote hours of my day to art projects and nature walks and trips to the library and imaginative play.  Those are the most favorite parts of my job.  But I cannot do that all day, every day.  I must also make time for cleaning house, the constant clutter pick-up, paying bills, making and returning phone calls, meal planning, cooking dinner, washing dishes, keeping up with laundry and ironing, and the other myriad of responsibilities . . . all of which is completely common to the average homemaker.

The problem for me lies in that when the TV is off, I have children at my feet, getting out what I put away, undoing what I have done, begging me to play, asking to get paints out or dreaming up any other number of things to do while I work, all of which makes getting my work done take about ten times longer than it should. 

Truth be told, I really do not love the housekeeping part of homemaking.  I just want it to be done.  To do it quickly as possible, I turn the TV on to keep them distracted.  My daughters are four and twenty months, so having them go read quietly or make up games to play doesn't last very long.  I can remember when I was growing up my parents had limits on TV, but I can't remember what we did prior to being school-age.  I also grew up in a time where parents could turn their kids outside to play for hours on end with little fear of anything horrible happening.  Our yard is not fenced in, and even if it were, I don't think I could turn them outside without me being there to keep an eye on them.  Horrible, horrible things happen even in small town Oklahoma.

Wow, this is getting a lot more whiny and rambly than I thought it would be.

Here's what I learned:

1) I don't think the TV has been excruciatingly negative for my children.  Dacey is completely on-track in social, cognitive, and physical development.  A friend emailed after my challenge post last week and shared some ways TV has sparked learning and conversation for her family, and I have to agree with what she said.  In some ways, TV has played a positive role in our family.  This could change, certainly, but I don't know that we will ever be a completely TV-free family, and I am okay with that. 

2) I do want to work towards less TV on a regular basis.  I want to learn how to go about my tasks as a homemaker without resorting to TV for babysitting.  I want to learn here, but I don't know where to start.

3) Even though I didn't meet the goals for my Turnoff Week challenge, I am glad I participated.  It caused me to do some heavy critical thinking and self-analysis about myself and our family that I probably would not have engaged in if it weren't for Turnoff Week.  Thank you to Unplug Your Kids for hosting!

I'm open to any feedback on this.  I know most all of the Turnoff Week participants live mostly TV-free lives, and I'll happily accept any insights you can share.  For those who also struggle with the TV time, just know you have a fellow struggler in me.

As He Leads Us: Week Off and Soliciting Ideas

Laura and I are going to take the week off from an AHLU post.  We have finished the current series on marriage, and at this point I would love to hear from you all on any topics you might like to see us cover next.  We have a few ideas, but I thought this might be a great time to hear from you on what you would like to see in upcoming discussions.  As a quick reminder, you can check the As He Leads Us page to revisit the discussions we have already posted.

Thank you - really, truly thank you - for your gracious and engaged support of this project!

five senses friday

This week.  This week feels like a good time to indulge in a Friday feature I've long enjoyed at abby try again: five senses friday.

 

smell
- wildflowers. 
- the newest shave soaps to find a place in kyle's ever-expanding stash. yummy.
- non-smell of fresh laundry a la charlie's soap (which i am running dangerously, treacherously low on.  must re-order today)

taste
- pizza dough- made twice this week, once for pizza, once for breadsticks.  made the remarkable discovery that it does not, in fact, need two hours to rise.  twenty minutes in a warm oven, punch down, thirty minutes covered with plastic wrap in the fridge, and you are ready to roll (it out).
- cheese grits

sound
- that dog up there, the dog named Dufus.  he lives next door to my parents and barking is his love language and boy, does he love my girls.
- Dave Ramsey's message of hope last night.  so inspiring and encouraging. and I totally saw my high school friend trisha in the audience several times which was pretty much just as exciting as hearing dave's wise words.

 

touch
- creamy, soft, kissable baby skin. my mama holding my newest niece, kadence.

 

sight
- i always make the most unexpected discoveries at my parents' house.  the wall hanging now sitting on our mantel was collecting dust in their office.  mom sent me home with it.
and that bib? my grandmother made it for her little tribe of grands so many years ago. i am in love with it. little cap sleeves! and that crumb catching pocket is divine.  it's completely reversible, too.  they do not make bibs like they used to, no ma'am they do not.  my mother suggested i cut it apart to use it as a pattern to make my own (or have some made, more likely), but the thought of taking scissors to this treasure nearly broke my heart. we'll have it on long-term loan before taking it back to grandma's.
- a wardrobe of spring and summer clothes for AJ once worn by her big sister. i was quite actually in tears unpacking them from the bins, calling to mind the spring/summer/fall Dacey wore them - the things we did, the places we went.  Mistress Size Six (!) couldn't fit her big toe in them now.  looking forward to those t-shirts and sundresses appearing in a whole 'nother summer's worth of memories.

this was nice.  hope your weekend is restful and lovely.

Earth Day, etc.

Happy Earth Day!

I have to start by saying that choosing to turnoff the TV more in a week where

1) the toddler is teething four teeth
2) both girls are exhausted from the hosting and the being hosted and are completely out of routine and totally off-schedule
3) we have been in and out of town so much that the Casa looks like the Gnomes of Chaos may have taken up permanent residence in our home
4) the raging PMS monster has for sure taken up residence within me

may not have been the best planning on my part.  As I thought, the first part of the week hasn't been bad.  Today - not so great.  I think both children are preferring Pinky Dinky Doo to Cranky Meanie Mom right now.

Anyway.

Today is Earth Day! We had the opportunity to teach today's lesson at library storytime and we focused our talk on the gorgeous book In the Tall, Tall Grass by Denise Fleming.  We checked this book out a few weeks ago by chance and we have all loved it!  Dacey is so very into rhyming right now and the text is lovely and fun.  The illustrations are sumptuous and brilliant.  We created tall, tall grass pictures (complete with requisite foam sticker creatures and glittery craft poms, of course) as our craft for the day.  It was a fun and simple and concrete way to celebrate Earth Day with little ones.

If you haven't already, please read Simple Mom's article from earlier this week on 40 Tips to Go Greener At Home (Besides Just Recycling).  I don't think I could think of a thing to add to her comprehensive list!

Stephanie Langford of Keeper of the Home released her much-anticipated e-book Healthy Homemaking: One Step at a Time (A 52 Week Journey of Baby Steps to Help You Move Towards More Natural, Nutritious, and Sustainable Living) this week.  Congrats, Stephanie!  I'm looking forward to purchasing my own copy and getting started on the baby steps plan.

Finally, as the temperatures here dance into the 80s (no wait!  It's in the 90s right now), I think it's safe to say I can pack away the winter and bring out the short sleeves and flip-flops.  (Okay, so I've been wearing the flippers for weeks now.  The boots are definitely getting boxed up this week.)  If you are looking for some earth-friendly threads to add to your spring/summer wardrobe, Bold Avenue now carries organic t-shirts and onesies.  Make sure you have entered the drawing for a $25 gift certificate!

While my back was turned, those Gnomes of Chaos have struck again, making their presence known by slathering the dining room table in a week's worth of unopened mail . . . back to work for me.  Hope your day is lovely and chaos-free! 

Perfectly Poetical inspires a Shopping Spree

Still out of town and sorta runnin' on prayers and fumes at this point, so my mind has not been able to come up with anything for today's Perfectly Poetical theme which is Dr. Seuss-inspired poetry.  Boo. 

I was thinking, though, that was around this time last year that I first met Stephanie of Little Stuff of Life (your Perfectly Poetical hostess), and I have so enjoyed getting to know her in this past year!  Not only does she have a great collection of tips and information on all things baby stuff at Little Stuff of LIfe, but she also runs a great little shop called Bold Avenue.

For quite a while I've wanted to spotlight her shop and allow you guys the chance to check out Stephanie's wares.  I think now would be the perfect time to go ahead and start this giveaway! 

I'm offering a $25 gift certificate to Bold Avenue - all you need to do is go over and browse around, come back, and leave a comment telling me about a few of the things that caught your eye! (feel free to tweet about the contest if you want to for a bonus but completely optional entry - make sure to include @SortaCrunchy in your tweet so I can be sure to get it counted)

Contest begins today and concludes next Tuesday evening (April 28th) at 10:00 PM central time.  Winner to be announced Wednesday morning.

Have fun browsing!  I'm totally thinking AJ must have something from the Curl Power line.  Off for some therapeutic shopping myself . . .

As He Leads Us: The Perspective of a Husband and Father

Friends and readers - I've so been anticipating being able to share today's post with you!  When Laura and I first began sharing our approach to parenting here on the blog, a friend of mine from high school sent an email sharing that he and his wife Jenny (who is also a friend from high school) had gone through very similar experiences in their first year as parents, particularly that feeling of pressure - both implied and explicit- to follow the approach set forth by Babywise and other materials from the Ezzo curriculum as the "right" way for Christians to approach parenthood.

For months, I've been pestering Jason to share his perspective as a Christan father and husband on how making peace with an alternative approach to new parenthood has impacted he and his wife, their marriage, and their children.  I think in order to get me to leave him alone about it ;) he has written this to share with you all today.  It seems so much of what is written about the first year of parenting focuses exclusively on the experience of new moms, and I am thrilled to have found a husband and father who will give voice to his experience.

So please welcome today my friend Jason as he shares his heart on parenting:

Our road to a more spirit-led approach in parenting is a long and winding one. You see, back when a client at work found out that we were expecting, he loaned us his copy of Babywise and shared that this book had really helped he and his wife with their child. Being eager first time parents, we gave it an honest read. And the eat-awake-sleep routine and advice on helping your child to sleep through the night seemed to make a lot of sense...in theory anyway.

It wasn't until our 9 lb 14.5 oz bundle of joy was born that the theory fell apart in practice. Eli (who, at birth, weighed more than some of our friend's children at three months old) wanted to eat much more often than your typical newborn and really couldn't go the recommended 2 1/2-3 hours between feedings. However, our earnestness in wishing to follow the Babywise recommendations was beginning to take its toll on my wife. The tension between “parent directed feeding” and responding to our son's clear signals that he needed to be fed was causing Jenny a great deal of self-doubt and inner turmoil at an already fragile time in early mommyhood.

Now, the fact that Eli wasn't eating on a good schedule was compounded by the fact that he wasn't sleeping through the night well around eight weeks which, as we all know is the magic time when Babywise says all infants should be able to sleep for 6-8 hours straight. But as many of your readers can probably sympathize, the first question from the mouths of many well-intentioned friends and family members was, “Is he sleeping through the night yet?” I remember that my wife and I would often look at each other and silently wonder who was going to field this one and how were we going to sugarcoat it so we didn't appear to be complete and utter failures at not teaching our child how and when to eat and sleep. Yes, our short lived flirtations with trying let our son “cry it out” were nothing sort of full-fledged disasters that more often than not resulted in everyone being reduced to tears.

Now, I'm not sure how or when the conversation took place, or over what length of time it took to come to the conclusion that we did. My poor wife, who by the way, is an absolutely terrific and wonderful mother, was far too sleep deprived from the whole ordeal at the time and was in no condition to step back and take in the whole situation and make a command decision about the whole thing. But I think I finally had to take the reigns and make the call for the well-being of our family and marriage that we were going to give ourselves permission to nurse our son when and where he needed to be fed.

And so oftentimes, that meant responding to Eli's cries in the middle of the night. And in the best interest of getting Jenny the sleep she so desperately needed, that often meant bringing Eli back to our bed and letting him nurse himself back to sleep, while Jenny would go back to sleep herself. And to be honest, I personally enjoyed having Eli in our bed. Granted, he wasn't the most still sleeper. We'd often wake up with a fist or foot in our nose. But there wasn't much more that I enjoyed than waking up seeing the two of them next to me and getting to steal a little time cuddling with my son. And I'm sure there are some Babywise parents who would be shocked to know that our marriage was not ruined or assigned any less significance when our son slept with us in bed.

And for the first time in our short stint in parenthood, we had a real peace about things. And no, it had nothing to do with our son eating on a predetermined schedule, nor did Eli suddenly start sleeping through the night (that didn't happen until he was almost 13 months old).

But it had everything to do with the fact that we had come to the realization in our hearts that God had purposefully given Eli to us. And with that in mind, no books, and no experts could tell us with more authority on precisely how we were to raise our son in a way which honored him as God's creation and honored his creator back than his own parents who sought after God in making the right decisions about raising the son that He had entrusted to us.

 

Turnoff Week

Good Monday morning, sweet readers!  If you are looking for or waiting on today's As He Leads Us post, just hang tight for a bit.  We have a special post coming up later this morning!

So, a few weeks ago I was reading at Clothesline Alley where Mrs. Amy explains why they are television-free.  I felt that all-too-familiar pang of conviction because Holy Moses we watch a lot of TV.  Well, I can say with all honesty that I personally do not watch a lot of TV.  I have a few can't-miss evening shows, but I don't watch any daytime TV.  Wouldn't it be lovely if I could say, "in fact, we don't even turn the TV on until it's time for me to start dinner" or "we never even turn the TV on until the girls are tucked into bed!" But oh my, no.

This is a hard confession to make.  I'm struggling to even decide how transparent I want to be in this.  The girls watch way more than the AAP's "no more than two hours a day" guideline.  WAY. MORE.  Like, a lot a lot a lot more.

(Did you hear that?  That was the collective gasping and clutching of chests from the crunchier side of the room.)

I've been feeling like we really need to cut back.  As with all worthwhile things, easier to write/talk/think about than do.

Aliza Joy - she could actually live quite happily without the TV on, save for the occasional Blue's Clues to get her through a grumpy moment.  She is very take-it-or-leave-it when it comes to the TV.  Good thing, too, considering the AAP recommends absolutely no screen time for children under two.  gulp.

Dacey - oh, my sweet four year old Dacey has been a TV-junkie for years now.  It's a preference she inherited from her father (and he completely owns this, so just know I'm not talking ugly behind his back).  Does that child enjoy some television.  Oh, and she's quite the fan of the online games that accompany her favorite shows as well.  Guess I better go ahead and clear a spot on the mantel for that Mother of the Year award.

Since I'm laying out all these confessions this morning, it seems like as good a time as any to tell you we are no longer cable-free.  AT&T made us an offer we just couldn't refuse with all the bundling and the DirecTV.  This has made the turning off of the TV that much harder, particularly since our old fave Noggin now provides 24/7 programming that's "just like preschool! on TV!" (even I have to admit that slogan gives me the willies)

And so here we go.

Unplug Your Kids is hosting the 3rd Annual Turnoff Week Blog Challenge and I, sweet friends, I am doing this thing.  Family goal: simply to reduce the children's screen time to the recommended less than two hours daily.  (I know, I know, AJ shouldn't be watching it at all. Baby steps.)

The first half of the week shouldn't be that hard.  The girls and I will be at my parents' house where the TV selection is much more limited and the vast yard  invites more outdoor play.  The second half of the week?  I'm a little scared, to be honest. 

But it's just a week.  We can totally do this, right?

All I know is if someone - anyone -  gets sick, all bets are off.  (Was that a sniffle I heard from the other room?)

To see who else is participating in this challenge or to take up the challenge yourself (please won't you?), click on over to Unplug Your Kids and join in!