SortaCrunchy

What Are You Into This Month? - September 2010

I cannot - cannot - believe that September is over, y'all!  It's not unusual for the months to go quickly, but wow.  September absolutely raced passed us.

I had so much fun sharing with and hearing from you about what we are all into last month.  Wanna do it again?

What I Am Into This Month - September 2010

On My Nightstand: Kyle and I are reading through Brennan Manning's The Ragamuffin Gospel for our church's book club.  I read Manning's Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin's Path to God two years ago and thought it was incredible, but oh my gosh.  Everyone should read The Ragamuffin Gospel.  It is beyond words.  Amazing.

Still working my way through Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck and Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan.

Want To Read: Coming soon to my nightstand via my beloved Amazon: Everyday Justice: The Global Impact of Our Daily Choices by Julie Clawson and The Tangible Kingdom: Creating Incarnational Community by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay.

And, of course, there are still these from last month that I haven't ordered yet:   Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church by N.T. Wright, Loving Our Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk, and Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture by Shannon Hayes.

T.V. Show Worth Watching: Well, friends, here's something you probably thought you would never hear from me, the one who has struggled with the T.V. watching-ness-guilt-and-struggle so much in the past.  I'm not really watching much T.V. these days (see reading lists above).  I haven't watched the new season of Glee and I'm several episodes behind on Runway.  Meh. 

I did thoroughly enjoy the season premiere of 30 Rock.  AJ and I watched the cold open from The Office about eight times together, too.  (She so enjoys a good song-and-dance number.)

Movie I've Seen (in our out of the theater): Kyle and I watched Date Night (finally) the other night.  Highly enjoyable.  (Why yes, as a matter of fact I do have a huge girl crush on Tina Fey.)

In My Kitchen: Again, September was such a whirlwind that I spent very little meaningful time in the kitchen.  I made chocolate cake several times, but nothing very exciting or note-worthy happening in there.

In My Ears: Okay.  I've been meaning to share this newest find with you for weeks.  A little while back, the girls and I were in the kitchen and I had our Laurie Berkner station playing on Pandora.  A very cool, irresistible song came on from someone I had not yet heard of: Forest Sun.  I was captivated and immediately created a Forest Sun station.  Y'all.  It is the soundtrack of this season.  I am so into Forest himself, but this station has also played me a lot of Amos Lee and Jack Johnson, and I edited in some Joshua Radin and it's just perfect.

I also dug up the original version of How He Loves by John Mark McMillan and in the process, found this video that tells the back story on how this song came to be.  It adds heartbreaking depth to one of my all-time favorite songs.

Three Newest Blog Reads Bloggy Items of Note: My Google Reader will probably never forgive me, I've ignored it so much this month.  Did I mention September has been a little bit crazy?  So I have no new blog reads to share, but there a few things I wanted to make mention of:

• All month long on Simple Organic, there has been a special focus on women's health issues.  Very, very good stuff written by women who are so incredibly knowledgeable and helpful.  I hope you'll check out this series!
• My darling friend Laura is doing something wonderful called {housewife heart}: she's inviting her readers to help her and her husband choose a charity to receive a generous donation from them.  She has shared the first two finalists and there are still two more to be revealed.  I love stuff like this.
• Vina at A Nourishing Home has started this very cool focus called a revolution of the nourishing kind.  Check it out.  I am totally diggin' it.

What I'm Looking Forward to Next Month: ummmmmm, slowing down.  Sharing more with you about the direction my faith journey has taken.  The arrival of the new issue of Mothering (seriously stalking the mailman for that).  Football and chrysthanthemums and pumpkins and cinnamon and crisp mornings and mild, mellow days and brilliant sunsets and all that is good and wonderful about autumn.

NOW then.  Your turn!  What are YOU into this month?  Fill up the comment space or borrow this for inspiration on your own blog.

(Once again, I must acknowledge that it was Stephanie of Adventures in Babywearing who first came up with this idea, lo these three years ago this month!  Thanks again for letting me borrow from your amazing inspiration, Steph!)

 

i am here: where my feet are

When I set out on my Walk to Emmaus, I wrote down three questions for God and rolled them up and carried them in my spirit, trusting that I would hear from Him on the way.

The day before I left for my Walk, Ann wrote these reflections upon on her return from Guatemala - when you want the first step in fixing a broken word.  Inspired by her words, in each of my questions, I simply asked God to provide the clarity I craved, to show me, "This is the way; walk in it."

And I heard.

The first question I asked was this, "Will You send me?  Will You release me from the enslavement of this culture and send me out into the wild to be bread broken for those who are literally starving?  Will You move in my husband's heart and could we please be on the same page about going?"

What I wanted to hear was Yes.  Sell everything and go.  India.  Africa.  South America.  Go.

This was not the answer I heard.

What I did hear came to me on the very first morning of my Walk.  From the mouth of an incredible woman, one of my table mates who has lived many, many decades on this earth, who started the very first food banks and homeless shelters in a nearby community, who is the embodiment of all I want to be in my life, she said on the very first morning we were there,

"Your ministry is where your feet are."

All around me, my table mates moved on with discussion, but I sat there gasping for breath.  I knew by the way my heart seized up that I had heard - with clarity - His answer.

Later, I made a feeble argument before Him.  But Father, what about those who are literally starving?  What about those who have never heard the gospel of grace and Good News?  What about those who are living in heart break every single day?

And He said, "Megan, open your eyes.  All around you in the community I have planted you in, there is hunger and heart break.  This is the way; walk in it."

Two, three, four times a week, we pile into my little old Toyota and go to meet with other Christians, to celebrate fellowship and grow in discipleship.  But would you believe I don't even know the names of most of my neighbors?  In the two years we have lived in this house, not once have we invited them to be table companions.  I don't know their stories.  I don't know what they hunger for.  I don't know what makes their hearts break.  I don't know the empty places that need to be filled with the gospel of grace.

How could I be trusted to go and serve in another country, in another culture, if I can't be trusted to love my literal neighbors?

On my walk, I was ministered to and served daily in innumerable tangible ways.  For the first time in my many years of living as a follower of Christ, I got to experience what it feels like, what it looks like, to be cared for in that way.  It breaks my own heart to see clearly now what I have been withholding from those around me. 

And I know now, without a doubt, with precise clarity, where He is sending me.  And it's the wilds of across the street and down the block and my own backyard.  It's my toy-strewn living room and my wobbly dining room table.  For me, for now, this is the way.  This is where my feet (and my ridiculously long toes) are.  My ministry, the ministry of administering the grace of Jesus, is here.  I'm walking here.

I know the things I write about my faith and spirituality aren't for everyone.  I feel compelled to share with you the answers I've received from God in the past few weeks.  It (probably) won't always be like this.  Thank you for graciously bearing with me while my heart filled to overflowing splashes onto your screen.

retreat

"Your eyes look like they've been in some sort of horrible crying accident."

Kyle made that observation on Sunday night after my return from a seventy-two hour retreat deep in a canyon at the bottom of ragged red rock walls.  I could have said the same thing of him when he returned from the retreat the week before.  Both of us came back wrecked and aglow.

For three days, there was communion and candlelight, feasting on food and word, laughter in such bounty that my muscles were sore and my face ached, tears so abundant and so quick that even I was stunned. 

In the canyon, there was no cell phone reception so I couldn't have called back to the world even if I had wanted to.  There were no computers, no email, no television, no appointments, no errands.  Exceedingly unplugged and saturated focus.

There was one pierced moment whiter than the rest when I experienced for the first time in my life the fullness of love that is the tangible Body of Christ. 

And it transformed me.

And I feel the gentle invitation from Him to remain on retreat, to let that linger for just a few more days.  So I'm going to close down -- just for a bit -- to listen and rest while I transition back into reality.

* (I lifted the "one pierced moment whiter than the rest" line is from my all-time favorite e.e.cummings poem)

* (I do have some email and other business to attend to, so I won't be totally offline.  I'm still available by email, I just need to rest from writing for a bit)

The Radical Photog: J. A. Taylor Photography

 I am thrilled to introduce someone to you today, someone I think is pretty stinkin' awesome.

Dr. Jay Pack is a friend of mine, one of my high school classmates if you want to get all specific about it.  Through the amazing world that is Facebook, we reconnected months ago, and I have been just blown away by the incredible photographs he shared on there.

I've "liked" his photos and commented on how incredibly talented he is because everything he shares is just wow.  And then a few weeks ago, he sent a message to some friends with an announcement: he is launching J.A.Taylor Photography - a business name that was inspired by each of his precious daughters.

And so that's all nice and wonderful.  Lots of hobbyists eventually decide to go pro with their passion.  I was happy for Jay, but then when I read the mission of J. A.Taylor - well, my heart started to beat a little bit faster.

Jay has decided to create a photography business where 100% of the profit will be donated to the charity of your choosing - just so long as it is a charity that benefits children in some way.

LOVE. IT.  Talk about taking Radical idea and running with it!

Why am I sharing this with you?  Well, two reasons.  And I'll get to those in a moment, but first I want to allow you to get to know Jay and his passion and mission a little bit better in his own words:

Megan: How and when did you become interested in photography?

Jay: It basically started a couple of years ago when my oldest daughter was born.  My wife kept talking about wanting to get some newborn shots of our first daughter, so I decided one day to go out and buy a camera and get her some newborn shots!  To my surprise and hers, the pics actually turned out fairly decent.  I was also surprised by how much fun I had trying to get the pictures.  So, I decided to do it again.  And again.  Next thing I knew, my wife was showing the pics to her friends and before I knew it, I suddenly found myself taking pics of their families.  It just got more and more fun.  One thing led to another . . . and pretty soon I was just hooked on it.

M: I know you enjoy shooting on film and developing those yourself.  What can you tell us about your equipment and processes?

Well, my film photography interests are basically limited to black and white photography. 

I started out with a 35mm film camera: the Canon AE-1 Program.  It was a landmark film camera back in its day and there are still quite a few people using it today.  After reading an old worn-out manual, I loaded some film, took a few shots, and then proceeded to watch some YouTube videos on how to develop film.  I Googled a whole bunch of questions, and then finally after about an hour of frustration, finally got some pics developed.  It was incredibly frustrating at first, but after I saw the pics, I was completely sold on it.  There's a definite difference between digital and film photos.  No doubt about it.

More recently, I have ventured beyond the 35mm realm and developed a love for medium format film photography.  I use a Hasselblad medium format film camera, and it is hands down my favorite camera.  There's just no comparison. There are drawbacks in the form of a steep learning curve, and I certainly wouldn't recommend going out and purchasing one without learning the fundamentals of photography.  The camera is purely mechanical.  No batteries, no built-in light meters, no nothing.  You have to manually focus the lens, figure out the proper exposure settings, and basically you have to do manually just about everything it takes to make a photo.  However, it rewards you for all that effort in the form of producing astonishing photos.  Plus, it really forces you to think about photography more as an art form rather than just a "point and shoot" exercise.  I love it.  But it's certainly not the easiest thing in the world to use, particularly in light of the thousands and thousands of point-and-shoot cameras which have made things so easy.

As far as developing is concerned, I basically develop everything by hand in my garage.  I use a variety of processes and techniques.  It's both a technical exercise and an art form.  There are endless combinations of films, film speeds, developers, etc.  Everything is highly dependent on temperature, time, and movement.  It's really wild stuff.   BUT, once you find something that works, you can tweak it and perfect it over time.  It's just very, very hard to beat the look of true film photography.  There are a lot of good people out there who can come close to replicating the look of film in photoshop.  However, in the end, they really are just replicas.  And the more you look at true film photos, the more you can see a difference.

Ultimately, I would like to see film photography make a comeback.  Look at how cyclical trends are in other industries, with the fashion world being the most obvious.  Styles cycle around and become popular again.  I would like to see film photography do the same thing.

  Megan: What has served as your inspiration for donating all of your proceeds to charity?

Jay: Well, the answer to that question has multiple layers. 

I have been taking pictures for friends and family for a little while now, and each and every time, people always offer to pay me for my time and efforts.  Up until now, I have always turned them down, reminding them of how much I enjoy this as a creative outlet from my "day job".  Finally, it occurred to me that instead of turning down the money, I could always accept it and then donate it all to charity.  A lot of people have been asking me why I would want to donate everything to charity.  I agree, it's a little bit unusual.  But fortunately, I have been very blessed both in my career as a physician and through some investments I have made, and instead of keeping whatever money I generate from this, I would rather give it all away and let it help someone else.

Since I'm doing the work as the photographer, I decided to impose one limitation.  And that is the charities must benefit children.  After the birth of my daughters, I developed a very soft side for children who are hurting.  It really bothers me when I stop and think about all the children in this world who are fighting unfair fights.  Things that are just too powerful for them, and particularly when you stop and consider that these fights are not of their own choosing.  Hunger, poverty, trafficking, malaria, AIDS, lack of access to clean water.  The list just goes on and on.

Additionally, I have some very close friends who are true champions for charities.  For example, one of my best friends is an ultra-marathoner who runs for the Challenged Athletes Foundation.  He runs these incredibly difficult races, often greater than 100 miles in length, and raises money for charities while he's doing it.  He's very good at it and benefits other people while he's at it.  I surround myself with people like that.  It's a process that feeds on itself and pays itself forward.  I love it.

Megan: You are an Oklahoma City based photographer.  For those who are interested in contacting you about a shoot, here are some logistical questions: Do they get to choose their own charity? Do you shoot primarily on the weekends?

Jay: Well, my schedule is actually surprisingly flexible and affords me a great opportunity to do this.  If people are interested, I would tell them just contact me.  There's a very good chance I can accommodate them with my flexibility.

And yes, as long as it's a children's charity, people can choose what they want.  People have various charities that they are passionate about, and I want to encourage those passions and provide another avenue for them to be funded.  I would consider this a great success if what I'm doing somehow inspired someone to do something for someone else.  Something unusual and out of the ordinary.

* * * * *
Jay, thank you so much for taking the time to share your vision, your passion, and your work today.

So, why did I want to share J. A. Taylor with each of you all?
1) I know many families are booking with photographers right now for holiday photo shoots.  I would be thrilled (!!!) if some of the many wonderful Oklahoma readers I have would choose to book with J. A. Taylor.  I am so proud of Jay and his mission with J.A. Taylor and knowing my incredible, generous, justice-loving, child-esteeming, mercy-showing readership the way I do, I knew I had to share this with you.

2) One of the ongoing discussions we've been having here lately is what on earth do we do when faced with a world that is desperate for help and hope?  I think what Jay is doing is a beautiful illustration of the response.  You look at the talents you have been gifted with and you ask, "How can I make a difference here?"  We aren't all meant to be photogs, but I know all of us have something we can do.  Like Jay, I hope you'll be inspired to do something with what you've been given.

In the meantime, why don't you click on over and enjoy some eye candy on the J.A. Taylor site, and go on ahead and find him on Facebook, too!  And if you have friends or family in the OKC area, would you consider sharing J. A. Taylor with them as well?

Blessings, friends!

hello, world!

 

From Dina, the school of home contributor, who wishes she too were more crunchy than not:

I've always wanted to travel the world. See new places, experience other cultures, taste exotic foods. Scratch the exotic foods thing...frog legs and jellied eyeballs just aren't my thing. So far I've seen much of America's beauty coast to coast, a few major cities in my adopted homeland of Canada, and a strip of beach in Cancun, Mexico. The latter was viewed and enjoyed more often from the bedroom than not. Somehow or another, the arrival of our firstborn came nine months to the day of our wedding. :}

Now, with four kids in tow, the airlines have grounded us. It used to be my husband and I could each bring two pieces of carry-on luggage but now it's reduced to one and we just can't choose between which kids to send back into cargo.

So, this year I've resorted to bringing the world to my family.

Recently my family became acquainted with the ambassador of Malaysia and were guests in their home on a few occasions. Sampling their foods, learning about their heritage, and being met at the front door by the king and queen really helped us acclimate to another culture. One thing I did notice though, the king and queen just stood there and stared, real silent like. Almost like they were but a photograph...

We met a woman in August who was preparing to move to Vietnam to teach and minister God's love to the children there. The kids and I are partnering with her to be her contact liaison to the rest of those supporting her. Having a personal connection to a place really heightens everyone's interest in learning as much as we can about it.

Not lucky enough to have stared down the queen of Malaysia or shared coffee with a missionary? Here are a few ways you and your family can welcome the world to your doorsteps:

1. Have an international dinner night at your house. Recently I hosted 12 friends and neighbors for an Indian night complete with butter chicken, biryani, and chickpea masala. Afterwards, we watched a Bollywood film which shed an amazing amount of light on the culture and it's people.

2. Read Ali's African Adventures at the dinner table. Ali is a pediatric nurse aboard the world's largest charity ship that drops anchor in West Africa to minister free medical care to the people there. Reading about the lives and challenges of people another world away has given my family a broader understanding of the needs of others and, by comparison, of our own wealth and privileges. Ali and her husband are now traveling around the world for six months so you can catch a ride on an elephant or ostrich (click here, you won't be disappointed!) or swim along with hippos through the lens of her stories. Currently, she is in India representing the needs of children to the many who read her blog.

3. Partner with Voices of the Martyrs and venture, if you dare, into the jungles of Colombia to deliver God's word to drug lords and paramilitary troops. Learn together about the topography and natural beauty of this country while working to make parachutes that will deliver radios and books to revolutionaries below.

4. Interview business owners and employees of the shops you frequent most. My husband's hair lady is from Iran and he has learned tons about this country through her stories and her flight for freedom. Our favorite pizza place is owned by a man with a ton of history from his own motherland and we hope to interview him while scouting out the secret to his delicious sauce. 

5. Already a globetrotter? The world seem too small for you? Why not undertake a study of another world, Heaven, with your family? Starting by asking my kids what they already knew about heaven, which according to my son is a big circle way, way up in the sky, I used this book as a reference to challenge them with and answer their many questions. Seeing as this world is not my (forever) home, I think it's not such a bad idea to start studying my TripTix on my future destination. I've already booked a flight on a pterodactyl and my son has King David in his basketball team line-up.  With these kind of all-inclusive benefits, I'd encourage you to confirm your name on heaven's log book asap.

6. Pack your bags and go somewhere! Sure, money's always a problem but after being married for ten years, don't I deserve a trip out of my own continent? Sorry, this one may be more about me than you but I need all the help I can get trying to convince my husband to take me to India, his land of origin, and Malaysia (this time, to see if I can't get a personal visit with my longtime friend, the queen!) for our upcoming anniversary. Donations are accepted.

a student of life, learning daily through the unconditional love of her God, her husband, and her four children. drinking lots of hot Egyptian licorice tea to keep her warm as, for now, she only dreams of travel to warmer climates.  Read more from Dina at A Worthy Life.

Interview with Rachel Held Evans (and book giveaway!)

I'm absolutely honored and delighted to get to share with you today an interview I did with Rachel Held Evans, author of Evolving in Monkey Town: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions.  (See my review of Evolving in Monkey Town here)

Megan:  On page 220 of the book, you write, "What my generation is learning the hard way is that faith is not about defending conquered ground but about discovering new territory.  Faith isn't about being right, or settling down, or refusing to change.  Faith is a journey, and every generation contributes its own sketches to the map.  I've got miles and miles to go on this journey, but I think i can see Jesus up head."

What kind of response have you received from older generations in regard to the questions and issues you raise in Monkey Town, or the what they might perceive as a critique of the way our generation was taught and trained in the faith by them?

RHE:  Well, the other day I got a phone call from an 82-year-old lady from town. She had really kind things to say about the book, which meant a lot to me because she’s a sort of literary matriarch around here, having taught English at the high school for many years. Near the end of the conversation she said, “But I do have one critique. Don’t assume that your generation is the only one asking these questions, because I’ve been asking them all my life . . . just not out loud.” That’s actually been a surprisingly common response from readers over 40.  While I’ve heard from some who feel defensive about my critique of the apologetics movement, most have responded positively. That’s not something I expected.

M: Your usage of apologetic strategy to stand up for the existence of Santa Claus as a child (which you jokingly refer to as When Skeptic Ask: A Handbook of Yuletide Evidences) was one of the most laughter-inducing passages of the entire book for me.  However, later reflection on it has given me pause and caused me to, for the first time, have some serious concerns about the inclusion of the Santa Claus mythology in our family's Christmas celebrations. 

There was actually much in the book that caused me to pause and reflect on my own evangelical upbringing and how much of that will translate into how we teach and guide our children.  In what ways do you think your childhood steeped in evangelical culture and apologetic strategy and your reaction to all of that as an adult will influence the way you interact with younger generations in the church?

RHE: I’ve actually been thinking about that a lot lately. (And no, Mom, I’m not pregnant!) Dan and I don’t have any children yet, but we’ve often talked about how thankful we are for our upbringing in the faith and how we’d like to repeat that with our own children . . . but with a few changes here and there.

I’d like my kids to be exposed to a wider variety of theological, political, and lifestyle perspectives so that they aren’t quite so surprised when they go out into the world and encounter them. And I’d like for them to feel as safe asking tough questions of us as I felt asking my parents. The temptation of course is to over-correct. So I’m hoping we can lay a solid foundation without making them feel trapped. I must admit there are a few questions I’m already dreading—Mommy, was Noah’s ark real? Mommy, is evolution true? Mommy, Johnny’s Dad says you’re going to hell for voting for democrats; is that true?—that sort of thing.

M: Many of the questions I've long struggled with (or more accurately, long suppressed) are directly tied to the theology and culture of the denomination in which I was raised and that I continue to be a part of (with no small part of inner tension and turmoil).  Have you and Dan found a church in which you and your questions are welcome?  What advice would you offer those seeking to reconcile participation in a community of faith with doubts and misgivings they may struggling with on a personal level?

RHE: This was a big struggle for us for a while. In a small town like Dayton, there’s not a wide variety of churches from which to choose so it was hard finding a faith community where we fit. Just when we were ready to give up, I got a call from my old youth pastor who said he was coming back to town to start a missional-oriented church and he wanted us to be a part of the core group. That was less than a  year ago, and now The Mission has evolved into a small - but growing! - faith community “for the rest of us.” In fact, we just started renting a building downtown. Right now it’s BYOLC—bring your own lawn chair—to services!
 
That said, I know from experience that it’s hard to wrestle with questions and doubts in the context of a faith community, especially in the Bible Belt. My advice for those who do is to be honest without being argumentative. Try to express your ideas with humility and grace without rocking the boat just for the sake of rocking it (which is something I am regrettably fond of doing).  Not everyone will share your faith journey, and as lonely as you are, you can’t drag other people along with you. I know. I’ve tried. Be patient. Be honest. Be willing to listen to completely unhelpful advice. It comes from a place of love and that’s what really matters.

M: On page 219, you write, "If I've learned anything over the past five  years, it's that doubt is the mechanism by which faith evolves.  It helps us cast off false fundamentals so that we can recover what has been lost or embrace what is new.  It is a refining fire, a hot flame that keeps our faith alive and moving and bubbling about, where certainty would only freeze it on the spot."

At this point in your faith journey, what are some aspects of faith about which you can say you are absolutely certain?

RHE: I am certain that if we all behaved like Jesus— if we loved both our enemies and served our neighbors—the world would be a beautiful, reconciled place. That makes me think there’s really something to this whole Gospel thing.

* * * * * * *

Thank you so much, Rachel, for sharing those insights!

Would you like to win a copy of Evolving in Monkey Town?  I'm giving one away! 

All you need to is leave a comment in which you ask a question you would like to know the answer to.  (Not a question for Rachel, although I'm sure she wouldn't mind.  More like a question about life in general for God, the universe, whatever.)  The question can be light-hearted or serious and can be on any topic you choose (as in, it doesn't have to be a "spiritual" question). 

Comments close Friday, September 24th at midnight.  Winner announced Saturday, September 25th.

Good luck and here's to asking questions!

 

Singing My Life With Her Words: Rachel Held Evans' Evolving in Monkey Town

I grinned when I read this passage on page 195 of Evolving in Monkey Town: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions.

The fact that Rachel Held Evans still uses the same Bible that she has had since junior high comes as no surprise to me.  Through her guest posts at Stuff Christians Like (Secretly Being Liberal) and Jesus Needs New PR (How NOT to Win the Best Christian Award), I knew that I had discovered an absolute spiritual soul mate.  From the opening pages of Monkey Town, my intuition was proved right as I found myself nodding, laughing, grimacing, and saying "YES!" and "TOTALLY!" out loud many, many times.

(wait.  did I just accidentally out myself as a progressive?  oops.)

(don't even try to act like you're surprised.)

So yeah, it's no surprise to me that she has clung to the Bible of her youth.  I've done the exact same thing.

Behold - my precious NIV, a cast-off from my mother who had moved on to a fancier model.  I even still have the mid-90s chic dusty rose cover holding the whole threadbare thing together:

And just as Rachel wrote in that chapter called "Sword Drills," I can't bear to part with mine.  Too much history.  The story of my spiritual life is recorded in its pages, dates and insights and prayers scribbled next to Scripture.

I was introduced to Rachel and her book via my friend Laura who had linked to this article of Rachel's a few months ago.  Laura, Jaime, and I decided we would read it together and discuss.  I absolutely devoured it upon its arrival and turned the corners down on roughly 67% of the pages, noting passages I thought I might feature in my review.

It occurs to me that featuring two-thirds of a book might go ahead and constitute plagiarism, and so I've had a really hard time trying to reign it all in to share with you.

Rachel hails from Dayton, Tennessee, the town in which the Scopes Monkey Trial played out in the 1920s.  This remarkable spectacle was the showdown of the (early) century - creationism versus evolution.  Step right up and choose a side! 

Rachel's father is a "genuine, certified theologian" with a degree from Dallas Theological Seminary who took a position at Bryan College in Dayton.  And so against a backdrop of a community invested in proactive apologetics and in a home where she writes that she had memorized the "Four Spiritual Laws" before she memorized her own address, Rachel grew into her faith in Christ.

Beginning with one piercing moment in college in which she witnessed the execution of a Muslim woman in Kabul (recorded in the documentary Behind The Veil), Rachel began to struggle with questions and heart-wrenching doubt.  The story that propels Monkey Town is the story of her wrestling through some really big, really tough questions.  Questions like

• Doesn't it seem like the criteria that determines who gets the chance to put faith in Jesus all rests on the number a person draws in a big Cosmic Lottery?
• What on earth do we really mean when we label events as "God things?"  Why does God seem to do God things like hold off bad weather to accommodate our travel plans yet 45,000 children will die today from hunger and preventable disease?  Where is the God thing in that?
• Why would God allow someone desperately trying to "pray away the gay" to sink to a point of self-mutilation and even attempts at suicide?  Why didn't He just take the gay away from Rachel's friend Adele?
• Why is there so much scientific evidence for an "old earth" and why are so many Christians so determined to cling to a "young earth" theory?
• What happens if you start to wonder if we just made all of this - all this God and Jesus stuff - just made it all up?

More than our mutual inclination for political moderate-ness that steps slightly to the left and more than her revelation that she also got a little thrill as a tween upon hearing that Donnie from New Kids on the Block "got saved," it's the doubts, it's the questions, it's the getting down on the ground and wrestling it out that draws me to Rachel.

I guess there's been enough time and space for me to tell you this now.  I've dropped hints here and there that 2008-09 were rough for our little family.  I mean.  Really.  Rough.  And I've only said this out loud once or twice but I suppose I might as well share it now with 1600 of my closest friends - there was a point in that season where I stopped believing.  Just for a little while.  I stopped.  Believing.  And I still was at church every time the doors opened and I still taught Sunday School and I was terrified to tell anyone that I couldn't believe any of it anymore.  Kyle and I held hands in the dark of our living room and questioned and cried.

But somehow, we came through it.  If you've been reading lately, you know I've come through it.  Like Rachel has - she's come through with a fresh view of Jesus and faith and what it looks like to live this out.

But the questions?  Some of them, a lot of them if I'm honest - they're still there.  And it's a little scary to start asking them as an adult.  And it's terrifying to consider asking them out loud.  As Rachel writes of those of us born into evangelical fundamentalism:

You might say we were born ready with answers . . . To experience the knowledge of Jesus Christ, we didn't need to be born again; we simply needed to be born.  Our parents, our teachers, and our favorite theologians took it from there, providing us with all the answers before we ever had time to really wrestle with the answers (78).

But like Rachel, I have found hope anew, in spite of - or more likely because of - the doubts and questions.

Like her, I'm

. . . learning to love the questions, like locked rooms and mysterious books, like trees that clap their hands and fish that climb up cave walls, like mist that clings to the foothills of the Himalayas just like it clings to the Appalachians.  And I'm slowly learning to live the questions, to follow the teachings of a radical rabbi, to live in an upside-down kingdom in which kings are humbled and servants exalted, to look for God in the eyes of the orphan and the widow, the homeless and the imprisoned, the poor and the sick.  My hope is that if I am patient, the questions themselves will dissolve into meaning, the answers won't matter so much anymore, and perhaps it will all make sense to me on some distant, ordinary day (225).

If you grew up as an evangelical, and if somewhere along the way you asked some pesky questions and you were shushed and so you decided to stuff all of those questions deep, deep down but you know in your heart of hearts those questions are still there, you need to read this book.  It's a safe place.

If you have left the church over things you can't reconcile with a decision to follow Jesus, you need to read this book.

If you have never ever wrestled with any aspect of the Christian faith, it might make you a little mad, but you still need to read this book.  I promise you it will help you understand those of us who are the Questioning Kind.

If you are of another faith or you choose no faith at all, you need to read this book.  Some of us Christ-followers have a tough time with this stuff, too.

And if you just enjoy writing that comes from a bright, engaging, humor-filled voice that takes the high road over cynicism and snarkiness and instead chooses to write a memoir that is full of charm and grace and fondness and hope, you need to read this book.

Tomorrow I'll be sharing my interview tihe Rachel as well as giving you a chance to win a copy of this book!

Until then, you can read more from Rachel on her blog, find her on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter.

On Radical Abandonment (Radical, Chapter One)

I'd like for you to meet someone.

"A nice, middle-class American Jesus.

A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have.  A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all of our affection.  A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comfort, because, after all, he loves us just as we are.  A Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid danger altogether.  A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream." (p. 13)

Two short months before my sixth birthday in a little Baptist church in Sulphur, Oklahoma, I walked the aisle and prayed the prayer and signed a card and followed the Lord in believer's baptism, and as I grew, this is the Jesus I came to know.

I've identified myself as a believer for twenty-seven years and for far far too long, Jesus has been just another canister on the kitchen shelf crammed full of canisters labeled with The Things I'm Into.  I take Him down and blow off the dust and open up to Him when things get tough or I'm doing an intensive Beth Moore study or I get to experience a particularly moving worship service.  But then He fits neatly back on the shelf, nestled amongst my other interests, content to wait for my movement towards Him once more.

And that's why chapter one of Radical launched me into this messed up moment.

I couldn't even read the first chapter in one sitting.  I would read a few paragraphs and I would get dizzy and fuzzy and I'd have to put it down and walk away and come back to it.  In this opening chapter, David Platt examines the idea that "somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable.  We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves" (p. 7).

As I continued to read Radical while reading and listening to other messages with this theme, I got even more messed up, in the most exhilarating way possible.  On more than one occasion in my adulthood, I've journaled, "I. Am. Bored."  In the months since I have come upon this radical movement, that pervasive boredom has been pushed out of the way with searing questions as scales have fallen from my eyes and I'm seeing everything differently.

Honestly, this stuff:

I can dig that stuff, you know.  I've been on this quest towards simple living and releasing attachments to stuff for several years now.  (How convenient of Jesus to join me in my pursuit.)

I'm to the point where I absolutely would abandon all my stuff and go, except for one little area of my life.  Marla speaks to this in her response to chapter one today, and I nodded with furious agreement.  My family - my husband, my precious, innocent children, my siblings and parents.  What would a radical life cost them? 

I have no answer there.  Not a clue.  In fact, I have more questions than answers.

Already it's the most exciting conversation of my life. 

Thanks for sharing in it with me.

See more responses to Radical, Chapter One here.

(As always, I have books on the brain.  Come back tomorrow to hear my thoughts on Rachel Held Evans' Evolving in Monkey Town: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions followed by my interview with her and a chance to win a copy on Thursday.  Completely different take on a life in Christ.  Good, good stuff.)

Why We'll Skip the Flu Shot (again) and What We'll Do Instead

I've had to run into Walgreens a few times in the past weeks, and I found myself overwhelmed by the flu shot blitz they have already rolled out.  Clerks wear buttons with big red hearts reminding customers of flu shot availability while the electronic marquee outside displays flu shot clinic hours.  Over the weekend, I noticed they have taken their flu shot peddling to the airwaves with many commercials suggesting that if you care about your co-workers, you'll get your flu shot!

The part of the flu shot blitz that would make me laugh if it weren't so ridiculous is the flu shot gift card.

Dear loved one, stay well with the flu shot.

Really?

I guess there is something more inviting about a mushy-gushy red heart rather than a sharp needle, so good call on their part in going with that visual.

As I've maintained since I first began writing about vaccinations and immunizations here at SortaCrunchy, I am not completely anti-vaccination.  I believe the only bad vaccine choice is an uninformed vaccine choice, and it is imperative that each person be informed about which vaccines, if any, to choose for yourself or your children.

One guide that I've consulted frequently in making these choices for our family is Dr. Bob Sears' The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child.  However, Dr. Sears and I part ways when it comes to the flu shot.  He is for it; I am not.

Here's why we skip the flu shot:

• The flu shot is not perfect protection against the flu.  In fact, there is no such thing as perfect protection from the flu.  
• The nasal (live virus) form of the flu comes with risks.  Not only do some people experience flu symptoms after receiving the live form of the virus in the nasal spray, the package insert also clearly states that shedding the live virus is possible for up to 21 days after administration.  This means when you child misses covering up that sneeze with her elbow, she is potentially sending forth the flu to those around her.
• The injection (inactivated) form of the flu shot most often contains thimerosal, a preservative containing mercury that has been eliminated from vaccines around the world but is still commonly found in flu vaccinations.  Thimerosal-free flu shots are available but are often limited to specific demographic groups and can be hard to track down.

I know many families who get the flu vaccine every year and are able to stay flu-free.  That is great news!  Kyle and I have also been flu-free for the past twelve years and have never received a flu vaccine, and our children have also been flu-free despite never being vaccinated against the flu.

Here's what we will be doing this year to boost our immunity to guard against the flu:

General Health and Well-Being

There's a reason why most medical advice sits upon the foundations of healthy eating, exercise, and a good night's sleep.  I'll get to healthy eating in a moment.  Exercise is good for every aspect of your health.  As the days get shorter, it's easy to slump into sluggishness, but the winter is one of the most important times of the year to maintain (or begin!) an exercise regime. 

Your body heals itself while you sleep.  I think it is no coincidence that the time of year with the least amount of daylight is the time of year we most need the healthy benefits of lots of sleep!

Of course, we always practice good hand washing, but we skip the anti-bacterial soaps.  Dr. Bronner's castille soaps work nicely for us.  We like the tingly, clean smell of peppermint the best.

Healthy Eating

There are many, many things you can put into your body that actually belong there (as opposed to the ingredients in flu shots) that work to build immunity.

• Raw Milk - full of vitamins, healthy fats, and TONS of great, helpful bacteria.  We have been and will continue to drink full fat, fully organic, unpasteurized milk from pastured cows.
• Seasonal Fruits and Veggies - again, I think it's an amazing wonder of creation that the time of year when we need a good boost in vitamin C to support healthy immunity is the time of year when delicious vitamin C rich foods are in season.  Oranges, kiwi, grapefruit, and brussel sprouts are all winter produce that provide healthy rewards.
• Yogurt and other fermented foods - fermented foods are loved by the body because they are full of enzymes and friendly micro-organisms your body needs to keep balance.  We eat a TON of yogurt in our house.  I think this might be the time for me to get serious about making kefir, and I might even go crazy and do some lacto-fermented vegetables (like Cara's sauerkraut!).
• Coconut Oil - one of the most amazing aspects of coconut oil is the abundance of lauric acid, a medium chain fatty acid that is one of the components of breast milk that provides immunity in nursing children.  Lauric acid forms into monolaurin which "is the antiviral, antibacterial, and antiprotozoal monoglyceride used by the human or animal to destroy lipid coated viruses such as HIV, herpes, cytomegalovirus, influenza, various pathogenic bacteria including listeria monocytogenes and heliobacter pylori, and protozoa such as giardia lamblia."  I use a ton of coconut oil in cooking, but I will probably be adding it into smoothies as an additional way to get those wonderful benefits into our bodies this flu season.
• Supplements - We don't do very many supplements, but as we go into The Sick Season, I will probably get some probiotics.  I am particularly concerned for Dacey because she is at school five days a week, so I will add in some daily probiotics and maybe even some Organic Echinacea Plus from Traditional Medicinals.  And, as my friend Noah pointed out in the comments below, vitamin D is a magnificent weapon against the flu.  Sunshine can be in short supply in the winter, so keep an eye out for vitamin D rich foods (sardines, anyone?) or add a supplement through the fall and winter.
• Garlic - Do I have to?  I know it's great for immunity.  I just don't know if I can stomach swallowing it raw.  Suggestions?

Back-Up Plan

Just in case one of us comes down with flu-like symptoms, we have oscillococcinum on hand.  (Totally unsponsored endorsement.  We just love Boiron products!)

I fully realize that the flu shot is the best choice for some individuals and some families.  This information is not meant in any way to make anyone feel badly about getting the flu shot for themselves or their children.  As I watched commercial after commercial from Walgreens roll by over the weekend, I was inspired to encourage other no-flu-shot families in their quest to fight the flu without the vaccine this winter.

Do you think we can discuss this respectfully in the comments?  I think we can.  What has been your experience with the flu shot?  Does your family rely on natural approaches to health and wellness to survive the flu season?  Let's talk it out.

Linking up to Your Green Resource - Week Four!

simply put

In her Interrupted study, Jen Hatmaker includes this thought from Franciscan priest Richard Rohr:

We cannot think our way into a new kind of living.  We must live our way into a new kind of thinking.

That.  That is exactly what I was needing to hear this week.  Enough with the thinking.  (easier said than done for a global thinker)  Just start doing.

And on getting overwhelmed?  This insight from No Impact Man on When Saving the World Threatens to Overwhelm You.  What a perfect accompaniment to the strains of Truth.

I seriously, seriously cannot explain in words how much you  - this loving, gentle, encouraging community - have rescued me this week.  The comments, the emails, the phone calls. 

Gratitude abounds.

I'm taking a much-needed online break for the weekend.  Please know I hold each of you so close to my heart.