I just need to prepare you that this is going to be the most intensely narcissistic, naval-gazing thing I've ever written. I'm sure of it. And I have about twenty minutes to write it so it's going to be pretty much unedited, so YAY. But there is a prayer request at the end, so feel free to scroll if you want.
So, we've discussed my love for Myers-Briggs. You know that I'm ENFP and that, because of that, I sometimes feel like I should come with a warning label. The reason I am so into personality typing systems so much is that I feel like a solid understanding of your own temperament helps you be more self-aware of how and why you respond to people and circumstances, and it helps you be able to give grace to others as you experience them in their temperaments.
What I need to talk about today is my P-ness.
hahahahahahahahhahahahahaha. Yes. Take a moment to let that sink in.
But for real, y'all. I feel like a birthday balloon floating ever closer to a needle. I am wound up tighter than an eight day clock and it's getting harder and I am alternating between small but intense bursts of (basic) productivity and complete and utter despondency.
And it's because of that big ol' P at the end of me.
The J/P aspect of Myers-Briggs is the hardest one for me to explain. I think this page does an excellent job of laying out the differences. It took me a long time to understand the first six or seven paragraphs, but after lots of other supplemental MB reading, I think I finally get what they are saying. If you skip down to the "I" statements for both J and P, though, it's pretty clear.
And here's me:
- I like to understand and adapt to the world rather than organize it.
- I like to keep plans to a minimum.
- I like to take in information, but I don't necessarily want to act on it.
- I stay open to new information for so long I miss making the decision.
For me, this P-ness means I hate, hate, hate having to make decisions.
And I'm at a crossroads - no, a collision - of a mixture of events and deadline that means that all I am doing for the next solid week is making decisions and plans. And I am completely. spinning. out.
Laura and I have our first deadline for our book. To most people - to normal people without the dominating P - this would actually be a relatively easy step. We are simply outlining chapters. We aren't even doing the actual writing yet. But do you know what outlining a chapter entails?
Lots and lots of details.
Pinning down details.
I can't breathe.
Thank you God for Laura who is just the best, and I suspect a J, and she is calm and organized and on-track and gracious and kind and patient.
Added to Deadline Day is the fact that on the same day our outlines are due, I am leaving to go work on the support team for the retreat I went on last fall. THAT will be a welcome trip, but before I go, I have to manage all the - yes - details of where the girls will be and when.
Who is keeping AJ during the days I will be gone?
Who is picking Dacey up from school?
What phone numbers does Kyle need?
Who will keep them while he works a football game Friday night?
What will they all eat while I'm gone?
What will they wear?
Fortunately, I have this incredible group of friends who, when I sent out a mass FB message pleading for help, showed up full force with offers to help. But now I ... have to decide ... who goes where and when.
Can you pass me a paper bag to breathe into?
And, oh yes, I was planning to launch Ditch the Disposables on, oh let's see, Wednesday (as in two days ago). That did not happen. Maybe I should put it off until October? Should I do it at all? Will anyone even participate?
So what I'm saying to you is my brain is a bar fight at the O.K. Corral right now with cowboys and roughnecks crashing chairs over the heads of others and hollering about how THIS thing that must be decided is THE most important and DO IT NOW.
And I'm hiding behind the bar with a bottle of liquor in my hand while the electric piano plays on.
Just kidding about the liquor.
So, here's the prayer request: Could you pray for my P-ness? Could you ask that God would bring order to my heart, mind, and schedule?
I appreciate it, friends. Really. So, so much.
In the meantime, are you a P or a J? Do you think the world is more oriented for Ps or for Js? Also, does your brain ever break out into a bar fight, or is it just me?
* (In the meantime, Kamille is creating a series on all kinds of MB information over at Redeeming the Table. MB nerds unite! I could talk about this forever, y'all.) *