Bedrooms are so intimate, don't you think? Or am I odd to think that? I honestly feel a little shy about seeing the bedrooms of my friends. Not for mind-in-the-gutter reasons (well, maybe sometimes), but it just seems that the bedroom is such a private space.
There are so many funny things about our old house, including the fact that the only bathroom on the first floor connects the two bedrooms. This means anytime we have company, they have to go through one of the bedrooms to get to the bathroom, and for logistical reasons, most people go through our bedroom.
(I'm sure it has nothing to do with wanting to avoid the Polly Pocket landmines that litter the floor of the girls' room.)
For the vast majority of our marriage, our bedroom has been tucked away, a truly private spot where I could leave the bed unmade and pile clothes on chairs and stack books high on nightstands and leave half empty cups of coffee for days. For a long time, we weren't very careful with our bedroom at all.
In fact, for too long, it was the most-neglected room in our house.
When we did our Oasis project earlier this year, we decided it was time to really apply the sanctuary philosophy to our bedroom. When we got married thirteen years ago, we were given a bedroom suite that was second-hand but had been refinished beautifully. I loved that furniture so much. It's easy to develop attachments to things that anchor you through newlywed years and coach's widow years and new baby years and new career years.
But last spring, we decided it was time to start fresh, and so we bought new bedroom furniture.
Actually, no room in our entire house betrays our minimalist leanings like our bedroom does. We work really hard to keep the surface clutter to an absolute minimum. Throughout the downstairs, our house has these amazing ten foot ceilings (love!), but it makes it a challenge to artfully decorate the walls. So we've gone ahead and gone with the nothing-on-the-walls approach. There's just so much space to fill! Maybe someday.
How do you feel about TVs in the bedroom?
For many years, we had one in our bedroom because Kyle likes to go to sleep with the TV on. I was rather ambivalent about the issue, so when that TV went out right before we moved back to Oklahoma three years ago, we just never replaced it.
I probably got a little sanctimonious about the whole issue as time went on. Ambivalence turned to conviction, and I found myself leaning heavily on the no-TV end of the issue. When we were in San Diego, Laura told me how putting a TV in their room ended up being a nice thing for them because she could work on her laptop or read or whatever while her husband watched TV and they could snuggle in for the evening together.
The very next day (not kidding), Kyle texted me and said, "What would you think of this TV for our room?" At first I bristled, but then I thought, "I do like snuggling .... Hmmmm."
And so when I got home from California, this:
Which, frankly, is an eyesore to me. BUT, I do have to say our evenings have been a lot more enjoyable and connected since we got it. I'm still conflicted, but that little need-for-affection love language just keeps patting my hand and whispering, "It's okay. Really."
This is Kyle's nightstand. He probably wouldn't even have the books out except he likes to set his water bottle on them at night. (Coasters, maybe? I guess we need some. Less to dust.) I thought about putting the fans away for these pictures, but neither of us can sleep without fans, and they are out all the time, and this series is about our real life, so the fans stayed.
Do y'all listen to Tsh's Simple Mom podcasts? I love them. At the end of each episode, she asks these Ten Questions which are the most fascinating part to me. One of the questions is, "What is on your nightstand right now?" I think a person's nightstand says a lot about them. I have to admit this is the most cluttered surface in the entire room, and I have to work hard to keep this clutter from attracting more.
Apparently we have really done a great job in establishing an atmosphere of intimacy in here because coffee cups are always breeding in this very spot! I did clear those away before I shot these:
And see how textured the ceiling is? The girls like to lay on our bed and stare at the ceiling until they can imagine pictures in the texture lines. Like cloud-watching, only indoors. If I'm going to lay in bed during the day, I'd much rather do my daydreaming the traditional way - staring at that old tree, the one endlessly dancing in the ever-present wind.
Our sacred space, made public for all. This is where we sleep.