First, let me mumble an apology for the relative quietness. I had a few things I had completely planned to share this week, but I gave what precious energy I had to a very big, very exciting new project that I am so excited to tell you about very soon. Very. Soon.
It's been a little bit of a roller coaster of a week. My very sweet friend Jen (The Blah Blah Blogger) sent these little goodies for the twinsies, and the little bump of encouragement was so sorely needed:
We had our first trimester screen appointment on Thursday. As the day got closer, my anxiety grew. I wasn't so much worried about the test results; I actually felt quite at peace with the entire screening process.
To be completely honest, I was so afraid that there would only be one baby in there. Too much Googling is bad for the soul, isn't it? Of course, I was also worried that both of them might have passed away. It made no logical sense - I was sicker than ever last week and didn't have any signs of anything changing. I just could not shake my anxieties.
Weeks ago, when we first found out about the twins, in the midst of prayer, I felt like God said to my heart, "these babies are going to be okay." As I worried and wondered over them this week, there was one moment where God very pointedly asked me, "Why are you worrying when I told you the babies are going to be okay?"
I had to get very real with Him and with myself. I know that His idea of okay and my idea of okay are not one and the same, and I wanted solely for my idea of okay to prevail. Once I was able to admit that to Him and acknowledge it for myself, a new sense of peace and resolve washed over me. I was still nervous when I went in for the appointment, but I was also unmistakably aware of His presence with me. Only the work of God through the Spirit could help me move to a place of accepting that no matter what, the babies will be okay.
Thursday was the big day, and it started with a regular appointment with my OB. Have I mentioned I love Dr. Gibson? I LOVE DR. GIBSON. I love her nurse, and I love the staff at the OU Physicians women's medicine practice. They are truly a special bunch.
Anyway, rather than listening to the heartbeats on Doppler, she lugged the ultrasound machine in so we could get a good look and I got to see the bebes, wiggling and grooving around in there, happy as could be. Their heartbeats looked fine, but on the office ultrasound, Dr. Gibson was having a hard time determining if there was a membrane separating them and how many placentas there were.
Because I was headed to the prenatal diagnostic center next door next, she sent over instructions making sure they determined the number of sacs and placentas.
Kyle came over for the first trimester screen appointment, and we had a very interesting dicussion with the geneticist first. I truly found it fascinating, all the talk of chromosomes and family history and what twins do to the statistics. We opted to wait for the screening results until after my second trimester screen to get the numbers all at once. We know that the results won't affect any of our decisions about this pregnancy, so we figured that for us, it would be the most wise to wait and get all the feedback in one big swallow.
Then we were off to the ultrasound room. Taking the nuchal fold scan measurements is very delicate business. The babies have to be laying just the right way and have to stay in that position long enough for them to grab an accurate measurement. THANKFULLY, the twinks were in a cooperative mood that day, and the sonographer was able to get the measurements with no problem.
It took a little longer for both the sonographer and the doctor to determine for sure the placenta and sac situation. Finally, they confirmed one placenta, two sacs. The doctor was reporting this matter-of-factly and said, "Okay, so mono-di twins so they're identical and that means ...." and he was just going on with his spiel and I was like, "WAIT. What? They ARE identical? Like, FOR SURE?"
"Yes," he said. "One placenta. Definitely identical."
SO! That's pretty huge, right?! Once again, Kyle was ecstatic and I was in (more) shock. Part of me had really been hoping for a boy-girl pair, but that's not in the cards. We will either have two more girls or we will have two boys. Identical. EEEEK!
Mono-di means monochorionic, diamniotic. Because they share a placenta, the risk level for this pregnancy has been elevated slightly. The main concern is that one twin might hog up more of the blood-flow and fluid, leaving the other to shrivel a bit. You may have heard of this - twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. Because of this concern, I'll basically just be in for quite a few more ultrasounds to keep on eye on their growth. The sonographer assured me that over the course of my pregnancy, I would get to know all the sonographers (all 8 of them!) quite well.
Identical. Twins. Just when I think I can't be any more surprised, there's another surprise.
Oh! Also, I finally broke down and asked my doctor for a prescription for Zofran. I have tried everything - everything! - y'all, and I just was not finding any relief. In the past week or two, the nausea and throwing up was actually getting worse. I am not a big prescription kind of person, but I just had to find a way to be functional in my life again!
So, that's quite an update, isn't it? Here's hoping next week's is much less eventful.