Who else loves Malcolm in the Middle? I loved that show when it was running, and I still watch re-runs religiously on IFC. And so for those who love it as much as I do, you'll know right away what I mean when I say you have to read this week's update imagining that I'm talking like Stevie.
You know, Stevie. Malcolm's (big breath) ... best friend (big breath) ... who has to take (big breath) ... a lot of breaths (big breath) ... just to talk?
That's me this week. And so it shall be, I guess, forever until the end of time.
Or until the babies are born. Even just sitting and engaging in normal conversation leaves me breathless. Sometimes even WITHOUT conversation, just the very act of living wears me right out.
The boys are, by the way, just fine. It feels like you might imagine having a pair of rascal-y puppies in your abdomen might feel. They are BUSY. But we got a quick peek at them earlier this week and they are doing great.
So I'm going to take this week to be a little whiny about what's going on with me physically - again, more than anything so I can look back and remember: dang. That was hard.
When I imagined the last weeks of pregnancy with twins, I thought, oh gosh. I'm sure my belly will just hurt so badly. Like my skin will feel like it's going to split open. And yeah, I guess to some extent my belly does hurt, but it is nothing - NOTHING - compared to the rest of the aches and pains.
My lower back doesn't understand what my lower front has going on, so it stays angry pretty much all the time. My feet have been swollen and hurting for weeks, but now my fingers have gotten in on that action and are swollen and stiff. As in, I could barely grasp the handle of the French press to pour myself a cup of coffee earlier this week. And of course, there's the contractions which happen now not only when I stand up and walk, but also sometimes just laying in bed. (Nothing regular. No worries.)
The other thing besides the hurts is the utter and complete exhaustion. How can I explain it? You know how if you aren't really an athletic person, but you do some aerobic exercise and afterwards you're all pant-y and kind of want to lay down and go to sleep? Yeah. That's pretty much how I feel all the time. Want to sleep. Allllllllllll the time.
OH! And also: night sweats.
Lord, have mercy.
But actually, glory yes. God HAS had mercy on me in so, so many ways.
Don't let the complaining overshadow for one minute how deeply, profoundly, genuinely grateful I am that our boys are still doing wonderfully. What a MIRACLE it is to make it to 34 weeks with two HUMANS inside of me. It is nothing short of miracle.
Friends and family have shown up in innumerable ways to serve us. Last weekend, the ladies from our last church showed up with a sort of "mobile shower." Since I can't really go anywhere comfortably, they brought a party to us complete with OHSOMANY little newborn boy clothes.
Other friends continue to bring over things that we haven't even thought about needing, as well as plenty of things that aren't needs but sure are cute - like these onesies from my friend (and fellow twin mom!) who lives across the street:
And today, Kyle's mom and sister are here cleaning the house from top to bottom. OH. It is so hard to lay here like a big lump and let people do all the things, but I truly have gotten to the point where I don't even have the energy to protest. I just keep saying thank you and thank you and thank you over and again.
Between the raging flu season and the swollen everything and the looks of concern-slash-horror from strangers, I'm pretty content to stay in the house most of the time now. Preferably in bed because even sitting up too long leads to creaky, cranky pelvic pains.
AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU STOPPED BY TO READ THIS? God bless.
What else was I going to tell you?
Oh! We found a van! We went with a Toyota Sienna (used, of course) and I think it will be just what we are needing. I have this strange Toyota thing. I've driven a Toyota of some variety since I was 21 years old. We had narrowed our search down to the Honda Odyssey or the Sienna, and it just turned out that we found a good deal on a Sienna. We'll pick it up on Monday. SUCH A RELIEF.
And when I see my OB this week, we're supposed to look at the calendar to schedule a birthday for the boys. We've had an bullseye on 38 weeks this whole time, but I don' t know y'all. I've done some reading this week from legit medical journals that seems to suggest 36-37 weeks may be the most optimal delivery range for monochorionic diamniotic twins like we have. So we'll see on that.
I'm starting to have some squirmy feelings about having another c-section, but I just keep reminding myself of that moment of complete and utter peace I had in the doctor's office, right before we found out we were having twins, that moment when I knew I wasn't going to have a VBAC and I felt completely at peace. I'm clinging to that right now.
So yeah. That's probably enough for now, yes? Thank you all so much for your prayer. Your prayers and encouragement and warm, supportive thoughts are sustaining me in a multitude of ways these days. Big awkward-belly-in-the-way hugs and kisses to each of you.