SortaCrunchy

Sending Supportive Vibes for a Beautiful Homebirth

Oh, I know.

We're focusing on our 3-D, face-to-face, real life communities right now.

But.

I have this incredible community of friends whom I never would have met were it not for the intersection of our lives through mouse clicks, computer screens, and written words.  And within that amazing, vast community of friends online, a few stand out as absolute kindreds.  Mind Twins, I call them.  Although I suppose that is a bit of a misnomer as twin generally denotes two, and my circle of Mind Twins has blessedly expanded well beyond that number. 

One of my dearest, most treasured mind twin friends is Sarah at Emerging Mummy.  Today, she shared how they are in All Systems Go awaiting the arrival of Tiny #3 who, hopefully, will arrive in their first planned homebirth.

And I do emphasize planned because they've already done the homebirth thing before.  Sorta.

About a year and a half ago, as part of my Birth Choices series, Sarah shared the story of their son's arrival.  I thought it might be cool to re-run that today so we can join together as a community to cheer on, encourage, and support Sarah in these last days before Bebe arrives. 

* * * * *

And so, as a reminder of what an incredible and amazing woman that she is, here is a reminder of Sarah's (Unplanned) Homebirth:

Yes, I had my son in a parkade.

(editor's note to readers in The States: parkade = enclosed parking lot)

I had a hospital birth with my daughter and it was mostly a positive experience. However, my daughter was posterior and required nearly three solid hours of intense pushing, flat on my back, without an epidural.

Wanting to avoid that scenario again, when I became pregnant with my second, I did a bit more research.  I discovered some techniques that could have helped avoid that (walk around, for instance) and started to lean towards a midwife birth, possibly at home. Then I happened to watch “The Business of Being Born.” That was it. I wanted a home birth. However, life got away from me as I was working full time and parenting a not yet two year old and, you know, creating life. So as time slipped away, I reluctantly put away my dreams for a midwife, deciding to just stick with the plan. I was going to deliver, naturally again, in the hospital with our OBGYN.

So much for plans.

I woke up with my first contraction around 3:00 AM. I waited to wake Brian, my husband, until about 3:30. They were about 10 minutes apart. We got up and came out to the living room to relax and hang out. We called my Mum who lives an hour away and my sister and her husband. We were pretty chill - too chill evidently - and told them "no rush, take a shower, come on over". I decided to lie in the tub for a while. I was certainly not enjoying my contractions or labour but really, it was so manageable that I figured I was just easing into it. The pain I recalled with my first was not there (that’s the difference between posterior and anterior, evidently!). I was committed to walking around and staying home as long as possible. But when I hit the bath tub, things started to progress rather quickly.

After less than half hour in the tub, Brian noted that I had thrown up once, was trembling and had become a bit more "inward" even telling him to "stop talking!" right in the middle of a contraction. So he called my Mum and said that he thought I was in transition already. I looked at him like he had 10 heads - transition? I know transition, pal, and this ain't it. 

After I got out of the tub, the contractions went from 6-7 minutes to 3 minutes. That's when I realised that this wasn't a joke and we weren't taking our time. We called my sister again to hurry UP and get over here to keep an eye on our daughter, Anne.

About 7 AM, my water broke. I felt the baby drop into my pelvis.  It was the most amazing feeling. I could tell exactly where the baby was at and, of course, told my husband “We aren’t going to make it.” But the hospital was just a few blocks away and he was adamant we get to the hospital for help. Evidently he didn’t feel up for an unassisted free birth. My sister finally arrived (apparently my brother in law stopped for Starbucks!) and ordered us out the door while she ran to her car and called my mum, leaving my brother in law to watch Anne.

I had four contractions on our way down the hall and in the elevator. I knew he was crowning and couldn’t walk. We emerged from the elevator on our parkade and I had a massive contraction and the baby almost fell out. Brian half-carried, half-dragged me, now desperate for help. He leaned me up against a pole and ran to the truck to pull it over.  

I was actively working to NOT push the baby out but it was coming! The morning rush was on and people were coming into the parkade like crazy while I clung to this pole and hollered that I was NOT MOVING BECAUSE THIS BABY WAS GOING TO FALL OUT! A crowd gathered. A lady ran over and asked Brian if he needed help to which he replied "DESPERATELY!" and she said "Well, my name is Kelly and I’m a nurse." 

Oh, thank you JESUS! 

The crowd of people wanted to help - they called 911 and the fire department. Kelly checked me and then looked at Brian and said "Um, you aren't going to make it. I'll try to catch if you hold her up." 

We leaned against the truck’s back door. I had a hand on the doorjamb and the other on the door, one foot up on the running boards. Brian crawled into the back seat and held me up under my arms. I gave one push and yell and the baby's head came out. He started crying right away. One more push and his shoulders were out. Kelly held his head while I reached down, grabbed his body under his arms and pulled him up to my chest, delivering him myself. Brian pulled me up onto the seat of the truck, off my feet and we just broke down.  

I couldn't stop laughing, Brian couldn't stop crying. He was enormous, healthy, shrieking, bright pink and quite obviously our BOY! Kelly was rooting around the truck for a blanket or something to keep him warm but all we could find were Brian's paint cloths from a job site, so we wrapped him up in that. 

The paramedics arrived about 5 minutes later. I felt great by that time if you can believe it. I was so high and excited, full of adrenalin. I felt FABULOUS! They were great, even letting Brian cut the cord.  My sister and mum finally figured out where we were and came rushing in. They were reassured by my chirping from the gurney with the baby wrapped up that I was GREAT and IT'S A BOY. The paramedics thought it was hilarious and the firemen were pretty excited about the baby. 

Joseph Arthur was 8 lbs, 10 oz, and 20.5 inches long. And to be honest, I felt great. It was the best experience! Let's just say my new theory on childbirth is "Make Gravity Work for You." And what's more - I wasn't afraid. It felt so natural that I didn't feel panicked or freaked out. It sounds odd to say but I enjoyed myself and the experience. I felt every sensation and, while uncomfortable, the pain was manageable. And then the natural high afterwards? There aren’t words. Breastfeeding was a joy and we were instantly bonded.

We went to the hospital with the paramedics but we were home, all together as a new family of four, within 24 hours.

And suffice to say, if there is a third baby (if!), I will certainly plan a home birth. And this time, for Brian’s sake, I’ll even try to make sure a midwife is there.

Sarah Styles Bessey lives in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two children.  She blogs at Emerging Mummy about parenting and faith.

 

wrestling with What I Should Have Known

Remember how I told you I was stalking the newest issue of Mothering?  Well, it arrived over the weekend and I've taken my usual approach of reading it slowly slowly slowly, one article at a time (to make it last, ya know).

This issue is the Special Pregnancy Edition, and I thoroughly enjoyed Jennifer Margulis' article on Unassisted Childbirth called "Do-It-Yourself Birth."  I confess to lots of envy-tinted feelings surfacing as I read about the birth of Jennifer's fourth child, one attended by only her husband and herself.  I don't know necessarily know that I would ever choose an unassisted childbirth experience for myself; I think the envy comes from the knowledge that I will most likely never have that option.

I've written sporadically here about my daughters' Cesarean births.  I guess I don't really talk that much about their births in face-to-face conversation anymore.  It is what it is and healing and moving on and all that.

A few months ago, I was visiting with a new friend who also happens to be a doula, and she asked if I would share more about my birth experiences.  In the manner that I think probably that only the best doulas possess, she listened with a complete openness, without a trace of judgment, as I told her how I was so deliberately unprepared for childbirth.  How I skipped childbirth classes and focused instead on learning how to breastfeed, how I figured that the baby was coming out one way or another, that that was what the doctor was there for, but that breastfeeding? well, that was up to me alone to make work.

And then I said something out loud that I had never, ever said before.  It was a statement that I've known the truth of somewhere deep inside of me for a long, long time but had never put words to, let alone vocalized. 

I told her that if I had known that birth is about so much more than just "getting the baby out," that if I had known that I would be processing and working through my feelings about that birth experience for the rest of my life, then I would never have been so flippant, so unattached and uninvolved, so dangerously naive in my preparation for my daughter's birth.

Probably, it's not like this for most women.  I have to believe that most women don't wrestle down to the ground all that I Should Have Known, pin those regrets to the ground, only to find themselves blindsided by the weight of If Only when they were least expecting it.

Probably not, right?  I have to believe that because in the nine months that I grew large with impending motherhood, no one took my by the shoulders and asked me, "What are you doing to prepare for this birth?  Do you trust that your body can deliver this child safely into the world?  Do you believe that you are not at the mercy of doctors and machines?  Do you know that birth is a terrifyingly empowering experience?  Because 'the baby will come out one way or another' - that's not going to cut it.  So what are you doing to prepare?"

Yeah.  No.  No one asked.  Maybe because no one had asked them. 

Please don't read this as me dragging around guilt from over five years ago.  I don't for one second believe that the c-sections have made me a bad mom or that I have any reason to feel ashamed or less-than because of them.  No, this isn't about guilt or bitterness or resentment.

This is about regret.

And I'm old enough to know that regret and gratitude can exist in the same place. 

I am thankful for my girls, born healthy and safe and whole.  I am thankful for the fading pink scar that bears testimony to the only two birth experiences I have, the only two to call my own.  I am thankful for kind doctors and nurses and I am thankful for quick healing and I am thankful for life.

There are wrinkles of regret - like opportunities passed over and loves long lost, I suppose - that only time can smooth out.  I know a day will come when the topic of birth no longer elicits from me a backward glance and a defeated sigh and I'll be done with the wrestling matches once and for all.

In the meantime, may I have the courage to grab some shoulders and ask some hard questions and advocate with enthusiasm that which I have never experienced: birth that empowers and strengthens and transcends physical reality as it invites communion with the divine.

Let's Talk about N-F-P! (answering The Birth Control Question)

I am loving having the Lijit search function installed on SortaCrunchy.

I am so interested to see what people come here looking to find.  Quite a few people have been searching through SC to see if I've written anything on worm composting.  I have not (yet), but it's on The List of Things To Do That I Thought I Never Would Try.

What really raised my eyebrows was my weekly report from Lijit which informed me that last week, there were fifty-five searches for "birth control."  Fifty-five in one week.

So tell me, what would you like to know?

The painted belly in the picture might answer your first question - we don't use birth control.  At least not in the conventional sense.  To clarify, I am not on hormonal birth control pills, and we don't use any sort of barrier protection.

When I wrote about how much I adore Mon.thly.info, I shared that I just don't like the way The Pill (in its various forms) makes me feel.  Perhaps I am just particularly sensitive to the hormones - I don't know.  It makes me feel looney.  I also don't like the effect it has on my (holdmyhandplease, I'm so uncomfortable), um, desire to pursue intimacy with my husband.  (You have no idea how much I am squirming talking about that.)

Reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health absolutely changed my life.  I will say again: I believe every woman should read it, preferably around the time she graduates from high school.  You can bet both of my daughters will read it.

(Won't that be a fun way to send them off to college?  "Have fun, sweetheart!  Make sure to study lots, and don't forget to take note of your cervical mucus changes!")

It was through reading TCOYF that I began to read and understand natural family planning (which the author refers to as the Fertility Awareness Method), and I found my own freedom from hormonal birth control - a system I knew did not work for me.

I know there are many women, particularly within the Christian community of faith, who don't use The Pill out of personal conviction.  (Read more from Randy Alcorn here or listen to Mark Driscoll for more here.)

I don't really have a conviction in this area at this point in my life.  I haven't taken the time to sleuth it all out for myself.  I just know that often medication is used to treat a broken system in the body.  My reproductive system is not broken, so I don't feel the need to treat it with medication. (And I am praying that you all know me well enough to know that when I make that statement, there is a heavy emphasis on the "I."  No judgment intended in any way for those who are in The Pill.)

However.

I do need to clarify one thing.  In the past, I've kind of said in a few places that we are open to whatever God has in store for our family.  That is true, and perhaps not true.

There are some couples who choose to cover the growth of their family in prayer.  They come together whenever they desire to do so, don't worry about charts and temps, or trying to conceive or avoiding conception.  I think those are the couples who truly, truly have left their family growth open to God's plans (or, for those who don't necessarily believe in God or that God orchestrates such things, I suppose they are leaving it open to the plans of human biology).

That's not us.  And that's where it gets tricky to talk about.  

Kyle and I both feel that as believers who are seeking each day to walk in step with the Spirit of God who dwells within us, that we will know when the time is right to try to conceive again.  We both knew when we tried for Dacey, and we both knew when we tried for Aliza Joy.  At this moment in time, we both know that the timing is not right to try to conceive again, so we are actively trying to avoid that.

Do I chart and temp religiously?  Not really.  Not at all.  I've been practicing NFP for five years.  I understand my body's rhythms, signs, and clues.  Oddly enough, one strange benefit of my two c-sections is that I know exactly when I am ovulating because I have a lot of tenderness and cramping in my incision area.  That's really helpful!  I like to think of that as my little consolation prize for my surgically birthed babies.

Mon.thly helps me keep track of dates, but knowing exactly when I am ovulating makes it really easy to avoid the biological circumstance which leads to conception.  

So that's the answer to the birth control question.  So far, it has worked wonderfully for us.  I'm certainly not an expert, but I'm happy to address questions or comments or experiences you may want to share!

photo by treyevan

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Birth Story Blitz

First things first - if it weren't for the blazing heat crippling any drop of creativity I had within me, I would have participated in Stephanie's PerPoTues today.  The poem of the month is so simple and fun - a little quatrain.  And yet, I just can't muster a thing.  So many apologies, Steph!  I understand in some parts of the world, it's quite lovely today.  Perhaps you'll be inspired to celebrate with a short rhyme.

* * * * *

Now, I finally - finally - am compiling all of these amazing birth stories for your reading pleasure.  I hope throughout the rest of the week, you'll take a minute to read each of them because they are all so unique and powerful.

If you emailed me your link and I didn't get it included, please let me know right away!  Also, feel free to add your own story in the comments if you would like to.

Lora Lynn - Willa's birth story (VBA2C med-free hospital birth)

Keely - Noah (homebirth) and Sam (unplanned unassisted homebirth)

Kelli - Samantha (med-free hospital birth)

woowoomama - chick pea (homebirth)

Cassie - Marisol (unassisted homebirth)

Jodi - Cameron (med-free hospital birth)

Elisa - Nikki (homebirth/hospital transfer) and Michael (homebirth)

Finally, my sweet friend Noah who had an unplanned unassisted homebirth with her new baby Elise just last week!

Reader Oonie emailed me while the birthing series was running and shared these thoughts:

My hospital birth was amazing. I know they don't need advocacy, necessarily, but I had a great OB who worked with me and what I wanted and gave me every opportunity to labor as naturally as possible with an epidural (which I also wanted). He had me on a trapeze, squatting, doing tractor (towel) pulls, everything he could think of to help get my second child out.

My first baby was 9lb14oz, and my second was 10lb10.5oz. There was no episiotomy or tearing for either.   I am gathering that my experiences were not typical, but they are not impossible, either, and I sometimes worry with posts like these that the impression is given that it's all or nothing as far as hospital based birth (with unnatural interventions, loss of control) vs. birthing at home or in birth centers.

Again, I know it can happen, but the same principles apply to choosing a hospital birth as an "alternative" choice. Find a team to support your labor in the way you want to do it (in my case, with pain relief and a medical team a hallway away, but with c-section as an absolute last resort). 

I'm all about supporting women who might not have considered birth centers or natural childbirth or home births or combinations thereof. There are middle grounds too.

And I must say again that I totally agree.  Here at SortaCrunchy, I try to offer an alternative perspective to family living and parenting.  It's interesting - I was reading today at Celebrity Baby Blog on the article which announced Mayin Bialik as the new spokesperson for Holistic Family Network, and in the comments a few people mentioned that alternative approaches to parenting are now becoming mainstream.  I beg to differ.  Maybe by region it's becoming more acceptable or even trendy to parent against the mainstream, but I can assure you it's still very much not the norm here where the wind comes sweeping down the plain. 

Anyway, as you all know, my daughters' births were not "natural" and I am perfectly content with each experience.  My purpose in running this series was never to minimilize the birth choices and experiences of others - it is simply to offer a viewpoint from the natural community that I myself cannot speak to.

I hope that you've enjoyed the stories these women have shared, and that each story has inspired a new sense of awe at the miracle of life as it comes screaming into this big, new world.

photo courtesy of sean dreilinger

Birthing Series: Sarah's (Unplanned) Homebirth

Okay, I know I said that Esther's story would be the last one in the birthing choices series, but when Sarah emailed me yesterday, I knew I had to share her story, too!  I know you'll appreciate and enjoy it as much as I did!

Yes, I had my son in a parkade.

(editor's note to readers in The States: parkade = enclosed parking lot)

I had a hospital birth with my daughter and it was mostly a positive experience. However, my daughter was posterior and required nearly three solid hours of intense pushing, flat on my back, without an epidural. Wanting to avoid that scenario again, when I became pregnant with my second, I did a bit more research.  I discovered some techniques that could have helped avoid that (walk around, for instance) and started to lean towards a midwife birth, possibly at home. Then I happened to watch “The Business of Being Born.” That was it. I wanted a home birth. However, life got away from me as I was working full time and parenting a not yet two year old and, you know, creating life. So as time slipped away, I reluctantly put away my dreams for a midwife, deciding to just stick with the plan. I was going to deliver, naturally again, in the hospital with our OBGYN.

So much for plans.

I woke up with my first contraction around 3:00 AM. I waited to wake Brian, my husband, until about 3:30. They were about 10 minutes apart. We got up and came out to the living room to relax and hang out. We called my Mum who lives an hour away and my sister and her husband. We were pretty chill - too chill evidently - and told them "no rush, take a shower, come on over". I decided to lie in the tub for a while. I was certainly not enjoying my contractions or labour but really, it was so manageable that I figured I was just easing into it. The pain I recalled with my first was not there (that’s the difference between posterior and anterior, evidently!). I was committed to walking around and staying home as long as possible. But when I hit the bath tub, things started to progress rather quickly.

After less than half hour in the tub, Brian noted that I had thrown up once, was trembling and had become a bit more "inward" even telling him to "stop talking!" right in the middle of a contraction. So he called my Mum and said that he thought I was in transition already. I looked at him like he had 10 heads - transition? I know transition, pal, and this ain't it. 

After I got out of the tub, the contractions went from 6-7 minutes to 3 minutes. That's when I realised that this wasn't a joke and we weren't taking our time. We called my sister again to hurry UP and get over here to keep an eye on our daughter, Anne.

About 7 AM, my water broke. I felt the baby drop into my pelvis.  It was the most amazing feeling. I could tell exactly where the baby was at and, of course, told my husband “We aren’t going to make it.” But the hospital was just a few blocks away and he was adamant we get to the hospital for help. Evidently he didn’t feel up for an unassisted free birth. My sister finally arrived (apparently my brother in law stopped for Starbucks!) and ordered us out the door while she ran to her car and called my mum, leaving my brother in law to watch Anne.

I had four contractions on our way down the hall and in the elevator. I knew he was crowning and couldn’t walk. We emerged from the elevator on our parkade and I had a massive contraction and the baby almost fell out. Brian half-carried, half-dragged me, now desperate for help. He leaned me up against a pole and ran to the truck to pull it over.  

I was actively working to NOT push the baby out but it was coming! The morning rush was on and people were coming into the parkade like crazy while I clung to this pole and hollered that I was NOT MOVING BECAUSE THIS BABY WAS GOING TO FALL OUT! A crowd gathered. A lady ran over and asked Brian if he needed help to which he replied "DESPERATELY!" and she said "Well, my name is Kelly and I’m a nurse." 

Oh, thank you JESUS! 

The crowd of people wanted to help - they called 911 and the fire department. Kelly checked me and then looked at Brian and said "Um, you aren't going to make it. I'll try to catch if you hold her up." 

We leaned against the truck’s back door. I had a hand on the doorjamb and the other on the door, one foot up on the running boards. Brian crawled into the back seat and held me up under my arms. I gave one push and yell and the baby's head came out. He started crying right away. One more push and his shoulders were out. Kelly held his head while I reached down, grabbed his body under his arms and pulled him up to my chest, delivering him myself. Brian pulled me up onto the seat of the truck, off my feet and we just broke down.  

I couldn't stop laughing, Brian couldn't stop crying. He was enormous, healthy, shrieking, bright pink and quite obviously our BOY! Kelly was rooting around the truck for a blanket or something to keep him warm but all we could find were Brian's paint cloths from a job site, so we wrapped him up in that. 

The paramedics arrived about 5 minutes later. I felt great by that time if you can believe it. I was so high and excited, full of adrenalin. I felt FABULOUS! They were great, even letting Brian cut the cord.  My sister and mum finally figured out where we were and came rushing in. They were reassured by my chirping from the gurney with the baby wrapped up that I was GREAT and IT'S A BOY. The paramedics thought it was hilarious and the firemen were pretty excited about the baby. 

Joseph Arthur was 8 lbs, 10 oz, and 20.5 inches long. And to be honest, I felt great. It was the best experience! Let's just say my new theory on childbirth is "Make Gravity Work for You." And what's more - I wasn't afraid. It felt so natural that I didn't feel panicked or freaked out. It sounds odd to say but I enjoyed myself and the experience. I felt every sensation and, while uncomfortable, the pain was manageable. And then the natural high afterwards? There aren’t words. Breastfeeding was a joy and we were instantly bonded.

We went to the hospital with the paramedics but we were home, all together as a new family of four, within 24 hours.

And suffice to say, if there is a third baby (if!), I will certainly plan a home birth. And this time, for Brian’s sake, I’ll even try to make sure a midwife is there.

Sarah Styles Bessey lives in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two children.  She blogs at Emerging Mummy about parenting and faith.

 

Birthing Series: Esther's Homebirth Experiences

This will be our last guest post in the birthing series (unless I've left someone out! Did you submit a guest post on birthing choices that has not yet been run?  If so, please let me know as soon as possible!), and I'm excited to introduce Esther to you. 

Esther Hawkins is a Naturopathic Doctor and stay-at-home Mom to two young children. She teaches natural health classes and blogs about natural health as well as her life as a Mom. She says, "I love to write, I love talking about natural health and I love being at home with my kids. I blog so I can do everything I love at the same time." For more about Esther, or to learn about natural health, visit her blog www.hawkinshealth.com

The Empowerment of Natural Birth

I remember hearing about a woman who had a home birth when I lived in England. I was 18 years old and all I could think was "why would anyone want to do that when they could go to the hospital and have drugs?"  Ten years later my mindset had changed considerably and I experienced the most wonderful, momentous day of my life when I gave birth to my 9lb son at home with no drugs and a six hour labor.

I had started getting into natural health and experienced some amazing changes in my health when I got pregnant with our son. The little that I had already learned convinced me to keep looking into home birth and after a meeting with my incredible midwife, and reading a couple of books on the ability of our bodies to grow a baby and deliver it naturally, I was convinced. Not to mention that statistically, it is safer to give birth at home than at a hospital.

I loved being pregnant and was inspired the whole time by my midwives who gave me the confidence that I could do this. I prepared emotionally and mentally by reading different books, including the Bradley Method, and talking to my midwives and other women who had had good home birth experiences. I also ate well and exercised regularly so that I was strong for the birth. I found the labor with my first child to be a little overwhelming but the support of my husband and midwives got me through. I loved the feeling of delivering the child. All I could think was, "I am woman, hear me ROAR". I felt very empowered and also that the experience had set the bar very high for anything we might go through in the future. I felt very strong yet extremely feminine. I connected with a part of me that I didn't know was there!

My second pregnancy was also wonderful. I nursed my son through the whole pregnancy and until my daughter was 7 months old. Again, I was able to work out through the whole pregnancy, even doing a yoga class the morning that I had her, one week past her due date. I delivered all 9lb 4oz of her,  after a 2 hour labor.  I felt very much in control going into the labor and had told my midwife that I didn't care how painful it was, I wanted it to be over within 2 hours so I stayed in positions that would increase the intensity and effectiveness of each contraction. The best position for me was lying on my left side. I was able to nurse my son and get him to bed between contractions and started to feel the intensity at 6cm. One hour and 50 minutes later she was born. This experience was so different to the first. I felt very comfortable and in control during the labor but felt very vulnerable and afraid during the delivery. I got her head out quickly but her shoulder got stuck. Before I knew it I was on my hands and knees while one midwife pushed from the outside, and the other maneuvered the baby from the inside. Two minutes later Niela was safely out.

I bled a lot with both babies and with Niela, I ended up on a drip. I am so thankful for natural and wonderful home births, but also for the wisdom of my registered nurse midwives who I'm sure prevented an emergency trip to the hospital with their medical expertise after the birth. Four hours later I was back on my feet and feeling great.

The impact of the second birth was also very empowering for me but in a different way. The strength I felt that time was in my vulnerability and weakness. The way that my midwives took care of me made me feel so valuable, and connected me with the beauty of God's heart for women and for motherhood. I also realized how wonderful it can be when we allow God the freedom to do the impossible in the middle of our weakness.

Birthing Series: Thoughts from LaToya on Homebirth

This week we will conclude the series on birthing choices.  Today's guest post from LaToya is one of the last guest posts that I will feature, and at the end of the week I will have one final post with links to birth stories from readers who wanted to share their experiences - whether that experience was med-free or Cesarean birth, at home or in the hospital or at a birthing center - I just want to allow everyone to have a chance to celebrate the power and miracle of each and every birth.  If you would like to have your story included, please send me an email with the link!

And now, LaToya's thoughts on homebirth:

I was a preemie, born almost three months early. My older brother was also a preemie, born six weeks early.  For twenty-one years this was my reality of birth. Everything is an emergency, you must be in the hospital and everyone needs to be closely monitored and heavily medicated. When I got engaged and decided that I wanted to have a family of my own, I knew that there had to be another way. So I began my search for information on natural childbirth.

No one in my family ever had a positive story about their births, so I had to look outside my family circle for information. It was during this time that I stumbled upon a show on TV that focused on a birthing center in Miami. Finally, proof that birth could look different from what I was used to. I saw women in control of their surroundings and birthing on their own terms.  I wanted to know more.

Two weeks after my wedding I was pregnant, so I kicked my search into high gear. I had a deadline after all, and I was not comfortable with birthing at the hospital assigned to my GYN. In fact, I had a panic attack in the elevator on the way to the hospital tour. I read about the Bradley Method of childbirth and was outraged at the amount of interventions that some women were having forced on them. I did not want that for myself or for my baby.  I wanted to be left alone to birth in peace without interruption.

I started reading anything that I could get my hands on from Ina May Gaskin to Henci Goer. Through my reading I learned that birth is a natural process that our bodies are designed to do. I read about the different stages of labor and what would happen to both me and my baby.  My biggest inspiration came from the birth stories of women that had birth naturally before me, proof that I could do it. And armed with that information and my faith that God would provide the strength I needed, I set my mind to it.

My first son was born in the car on the way to the birthing center, and the second at home in the living room. Both my births taught me great lessons about being a mother and a woman.  My first showed me to be prepared for the unexpected and that my body could handle natural birth. My second showed me that I had the strength and determination to birth in my home, 100% on my own terms, even with my 2 year old in the house. It was a wonderful experience to birth at home. I didn't have to go anywhere. I was the first person to hold my baby and he was never out of my sight. I didn't have nurses coming in throughout the night demanding to know if he'd nursed yet. The best part was that we were able to relax and bond as a family.

LaToya is a 26 year old SAHM to two beautiful boys and also a full-time law student. She blogs semi-regulary at Christian Momma where she writes about her experiences as a mommy.

photo courtesy of Breibeest

Birth Story Series: Carrie's Med-Free Birth of Twins

I am super excited to share today's birth story!  Carrie is a friend of my friend Sasha, and she emailed to say she would be happy to share her story of birthing twins naturally.  As I read her story, I saw that her twins and my AJ were born just one day apart in September 2007.  So cool!  I know you'll enjoy hearing her family's story as much as I have:

This story is graphic and not for the faint of heart. I have learned that motherhood has initiated me into handling just about anything and not always with grace. We moms have dealt with poop, vomit, and blood and have become accustomed to it. This is the truth in my picture of a twin childbirth experience.

DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL....

When my husband and I found out we were expecting not one child...but two, he started laughing hysterically and I shrieked awkwardly. We had plans of cloth diapering, breastfeeding, and making our own baby food. But how does all that work with twins? Why should it be any different with two babies than what we planned with one?

"You're going to do what?? Are you nuts?" was the typical response from others when we told them we were attempting to do a drug-free childbirth experience with twins.  Fortunately, we found a fantastic nurse-midwife who was willing to help us achieve our dream, a doula ready to help and support, and The Bradley Method childbirth course to help us prepare intellectually. We were blessed to have a complication-free pregnancy which put us into good position to follow through with our birth plan. Of course I would never have put our twins' health or safety at risk, and we had a support team ready to go if things took a unexpected turn. Unlike other midwife birthing experiences, our midwife was associated with a hospital and a medical team (OB-GYNs, maternal-fetal medicine specialists, etc.), which made us more at ease. Though I wasn't happy about it, I knew I would have to deliver in the OR because of having twins, in case of emergency. In our situation, the harsh lights of the OR were the LEAST of my thoughts in "the moment"...

At 38 1/2 weeks, after 4 weeks of bedrest, I went into spontaneous labor in the middle of the night, of course. The contractions came quickly after my bags of water broke, and we drove at mach speeds towards the hospital hoping to prevent a road-side delivery. I felt the strong need to have a bowel movement and in sitting on the disgusting public toilet in the entry way to the hospital, discovered that I had the strong urge to PUSH....right then!! Looking back, it was evident I was in the transition stage of labor, the shortest and most intense stage. Following admission, my husband and our doulas were at my side as my contractions were hard and fast (1 min. apart). Our homemade birthing music CD, candles, massagers, and magazines never made it out of the bag! My hubby was a champ; not usually outspoken, he stood against the nurses who were basically waiving the pain drugs in front of me and held true to our wishes.  Our midwife arrived in her stiletto heels, charmingly took control and after wheeling me into the OR, used her gentle methods to literally pop Baby A, our sweet George, out. No cutting, no stitches required.

At that point, Baby B decided to enjoy the extra space her brother left for her, sat back and was not coming out. The maternal-fetal medicine on-call doc (who was not in favor of our plans either and to whom our midwife had to strongly advocate our wishes, I might add) successfully completed an external version (where they literally push the baby's head and bottom into position). She did administer a small dose of Pitocin to re-kickstart my labor with the second baby and within minutes, our midwife pulled out our darling Abigail.

My point in sharing our story is not to toot our own horn or have you hail our bravery, but to remind that if you know what you want and build your team around you, you are more likely to achieve it - which applies to many experiences in life, childbirth or otherwise!! We could have backed down when the two fetuses popped up on the 11-week ultrasound screen and gone the uber-medicated, high intervention route that most typical twin pregnancies take. Instead we chose to stick with our original plan as much as possible. We are eternally grateful for the competent, supportive medical team we chose and due to their diligence and our hard-headed natures, we succeeded in our twins' drug-free births. Don't throw in the towel!!

If you want to hear more of the details of this wonderful birth story, you can read Carrie's husband's account of the twin's birthday.

Carrie is a full-time twin mama to George and Abigail (twenty-two months) and our three furry four-legged monsters, wife of eight years to Matt, and part-time geriatric social worker. Enjoy a glimpse of the everyday on "The Craziness we call life..."

Birthing Series: Shannon's Advocacy for Homebirth

Continuing on in the series on birthing choices, I have a post to share with you today from Shannon of Nourishing Days.  Shannon has birthed at home twice and is eager to share with you some information you might not know about homebirth:

I have delivered both of my boys at home with caring and skilled midwives. I was able to labor and push however and whenever I needed to in complete comfort.

I want every mother to have that experience.

What is important to me is not that every woman have their baby at home, but that every woman is given all of the information about birth.

So let me tell you what I know about homebirth...

It is Just as Safe as Hospital Birth

Safety is most people's biggest concern, but statistically it's just as safe, if not safer than hospital birth.

We can look outside of the U.S. to make a comparison...

• In the Netherlands 30% of all births are homebirths. They have an infant mortality rate of 4.73 deaths/1000 live births (according to the CIA World Factbook, 2009)
• In the United States 1% or less of all births are planned homebirths. The United States' infant mortality rate is 6.26 deaths/1000 live births (according to the CIA World Factbook, 2009).

There are Fewer Interventions

The current c-section rate is nearly one third of all hospital births. One third. That rate has increased 50% since 2005 and it is double the World Health Organization's recommended rate of 15%.

I am not against c-sections - they can be life saving for both mother and baby. But it is also major surgery with significant risks to both mother and baby, and therefore should not be done unless necessary.

The average transfer rate, and therefore intervention rate, for homebirth is 12%.

My sister-in-law, who is a nurse working with moms and babies, has told me that she would choose a birthing center over a hospital birth. She has seen the snowball effect of interventions in the hospital.

It Costs Less Than Hospital Birth

Have you seen The Business of Being Born? If not I would highly recommend it for anyone who will ever have a baby.

There is a lot of money involved in birth. If half of us mamas chose to birth at home, with midwives, does that mean that half of the obstetricians would lose their jobs? Would they make half the money? I don't know, but they certainly have some incentive to keep us in the hospitals, even if we don't need to be there.

If you look at the average facility labor and birth charge by site and method of birth you can see that it is not cheap to give birth in the hospital.

In 2005 a vaginal birth in the hospital cost almost $7,000. In 2006 our family paid less than $2500 for a homebirth with the best care you can imagine - and that price covered prenatal, the birth and postnatal. Everything.

****

The above three reasons helped motivate us to have a homebirth, but their was more to it than that.

We know that whatever the outcome of a hospital or homebirth - God is in control.

While we can seek out the best care possible and nourish our bodies as best as we can, some things are out of our control. This was never more clear to me than during the birth of my younger son.

Given God's sovereignty, and the three reasons above, we have chosen homebirth.

I am often asked if we will have another homebirth if we become pregnant again. At this point I can't say for sure, but I know it will depend on my health and how the pregnancy goes. I can say that if it is not a homebirth, we will choose a birthing center and the wonderful midwives who do not get near the credit that they deserve in the medical community.

Shannon is a wife, mama, and homemaker who is passionate about nourishing our families with real food.  She writes about sustainable agriculture, mindful stewardship of resources, living simply, and more at Nourishing Days.

(photo of Shannon and her younger son just moments after she birthed him at home)

Birth Story Series: Thoughts from Katie on Preparing for an Intervention-Free Birth

What wonderful feedback there has been so far on the birth story series!  Today we continue with a guest post from Katie who shares her thoughts on how and why she planned an intervention-free birth:

Don’t be a hero . . .

You know there’s no gold star at the end . . .

But WHY??

All of these comments, and many others, were heard in the months preceding my daughter’s birth in February 2008.  When I mentioned that I was planning to pursue natural childbirth, I mostly got a LOT of strange responses, very few of which were actually supportive. 

My guess is that  there are 2 reasons behind this:

• The reasons for pursuing natural (intervention-free) childbirth are often misunderstood.

• It’s assumed that because of my choice – I am judging you for yours. 

Honestly, I had no strong feelings about medication during childbirth prior to becoming pregnant.  Once I knew I had a precious little life growing inside me, a beautiful gift from God, I realized that part of my role as The Mama was to make informed choices about my child(ren).  And so, I began to read.

I visited websites, read blogs, checked out books, and talked to friends… and surprised myself by not-so-slowly becoming convinced that natural childbirth was the right choice for me and for my family. 

I didn’t want to be a hero – nor did I want to earn anyone’s respect by “proving how tough I was.”  What I did want was to give my body the chance to do exactly what God made it to do – grow a little life over the course of nine months and give birth in its own time.   I had no delusions that it would be easy, nor did I care what people thought about my choice.  My husband was incredibly supportive, and I believed that God had created a perfect system for “being fruitful and multiplying.”  (Granted, this perfect system of His exists in an imperfect world, and does not always proceed without unavoidable complication).

I took a natural childbirth class at a local birth center, and planned an intervention-free birth at a hospital (we were a bit gun-shy of the birth center for our very first pregnancy).  I was able to give birth to my daughter in a hospital, surrounded by fabulous nurses and doctors who took excellent care of us – and I did so without intervention (oh – aside from my water being broken right before I began to push).

The things I’ve learned and truly believe from my experience are:

-          1.  Preparation is key – I did so much reading and had gotten such a wealth of information from my childbirth class that I felt well prepared for the task ahead.  It was tough – I’m not going to lie – but I truly believed I could do it, that I was MADE to do it, and that I had tools to help me.

-          2.  Barring any aforementioned unavoidable complications, all women are capable of having an intervention-free birth. 

-          3.  That being said – the choice to pursue a drug-free birth is not necessarily for everyone.  I believed it to be the best choice for me, and I pursued it aggressively.  I’m thrilled with my birth experience and my daughter was born healthy and strong.  That was most important – period.

-          I don’t expect rewards for being tough, and I don’t judge anyone else for their choices.  I do believe that we all have a responsibility to make informed decisions about childbirth – but those choices won’t look the same across the board. 

Katie is a happy at-home-mama to Hazel (16 months old), wife to Mark, and is looking forward to welcoming Baby 2.0 sometime in August.  Thanks for reading - check out A Heartful of Eternity for even more!

(precious newborn close-up photo by timsamoff)