SortaCrunchy

weekend snapshots: november 20

I wanted to make mention of these:

* I love so much of what Micha writes at mama:monk. You better believe my liturgy-loving heart beats happily to the rhythm of her insights. Her thoughts on transition are really profound to me:

As I’ve embraced the liturgy and begun to recognize our needs for times of celebration and ritual, for the acknowledgment of what is significant in our years and weeks and days, I’ve come to see that space is sacred. The physical helps us shape our reaction in the spiritual.

I started to write out a whole huge long thing in the comments, but I pulled back because it is brewing as a (hopeful) post here at SC.

* Best for Babes posted a great article on the WHO-CODE. I know people don't understand why the Nestle boycott is a big deal or why formula-sponsored new mother bags are a problem because most of us live in developed nations where baby formula does not (in most circumstances) cause an immediate thread to baby's health. Please read this article to fill out your understanding of the WHO-CODE and why it is important for these standards to be maintained and enforced across the world.

* Some friends and readers wondered if I would have an official response to the Milwaukee anti-co-sleep ads. Maybe. In the meantime, I think Annie handled it wonderfully in her piece on Fun with Analogies: Co-Sleep and Knives, Car Travel and Guns at PhD in Parenting.

* I love, love, love what the Hippie Housewife wrote about taking the rod verses literally earlier this week. I don't speak about spanking much but I tell anyone who asks me that I do not believe spanking is a biblical mandate. Hippie Housewife lays out the case in a compelling way that completely reaffirms my stance on this issue!

And a few more light-hearted links:

I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who yells at magazines. Beck's rundown of the Oprah's Favorite Things Gift List got me giggling.

Okay, I know it's a little off-color, but this is pretty much exactly how I feel about the upcoming election season.

Lots of people start printing out photos like mad this time of year. My friend the Hollywood Housewife did this photo-printing comparison last month that I found to be insanely helpful. I was truly surprised by the outcome.

(Oh hey! I'm linking to both the Hippie Housewife and the Hollywood Housewife this week. That just about sums up SortaCrunchy, don't you think?)

And finally, as the week ends, thousands of people will brave cold and darkness to grab deals on Black Friday. Well to that, I say BOO. I'll raise a toasty warm cup to a relaxing day with family filled with leftovers and board games, thank you very much. You too? Then I would encourage you to start, continue, or finish your holiday shopping with the Splendid Season Gift Guide. Not only can you shop in your jammies if you are so inclined, you can also know that every dollar you spend makes a statement about the importance of art, beauty, justice, and hope.

OH! And Advent starts one week from today. What Advent resources will inspire your observation of this season?

Milk Production and Scheduled Feedings

image source: ODHD

We've been talking about feeding choices over at In The Backyard in our Spirit-Led Parenting series. You cannot talk about infant feeding without touching on whether or not to schedule when baby eats. I've take both approaches: Dacey was breastfed on a schedule and Aliza Joy was fed on demand.

Today's discussion is not so much weighing the merits of scheduling or not, but rather looks at how scheduled feedings can impact the breastfeeding mother. We look at the science and examine why some women who breastfeed on a schedule from birth may lose their milk supply after the four month mark.

Please join us over at Laura's place for this discussion. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and experience!

 

Spirit-Led Parenting: Honoring Your Stories

Something I'm learning over and over these days is that generally, people feel a little shaky in the presence of freedom. I'm finding this is completely true in the realm of parenting as we explore how to encourage parents to walk in the freedom of Christ and lean on the Spirit for direction on this path.

We tend to like our systems, our "this is the way you do it," our "it worked for me, surely it will work for you." Your stories in my ears ... they are all serving to shape and mold the message of this book. Thank you for helping me to remember that relationships are far more important than the systems we want to put in place.

Over at In the Backyard, we are continuing the feeding series, and today I'm sharing some of your stories about baby bottles appeared in your diaper bag when you thought there would only ever be nursing covers. Come over and listen alongside me?

* * * * *

And because it is Monday, after all, maybe you are looking for ways to relax and stay focused as the week begins? Jennifer from Every Breath I Take wants to know: "When was the last time you relaxed deeply?" I've been practicing the advice she gives in this post on why it's important and how to do it. It's making a huge difference in my days! So thankful for her sponsorship this month!

Spirit-Led Parenting: Early Breastfeeding Challenges

"Try to make it six weeks."

Long before Laura and I connected at the heart over our shared experiences in parenting new babies, we were both trying to follow this advice for getting started with breastfeeding. Laura's earliest weeks were much more challenging than mine, and today is sharing honestly about nipple shields, tearful nursing sessions, perseverance, and faith as part of the Spirit-Led Parenting series on her blog.

Did breastfeeding come easily for you, or did you face obstacles as well? What got you through the hard times, and what would be your best advice for a mama who is deep in the trenches of a rough breastfeeding journey? Join us there for discussion.

Also, have you liked Spirit-Led Parenting on Facebook? We're inviting you to be part of the behind-the-scenes group bringing our message to life!

photo by Rapheal Goetter

Breastfeeding as Worship

Today kicks off World Breastfeeding Week! I'm running around like crazy getting ready to leave for San Diego/BlogHer 2011, so I am reaching into the archives to republish one of my favorite breastfeeding posts, originally published as an entry in the Carnival of Nursing in Public, July 2010:

As someone who has been writing about breastfeeding from the outset of blogging, I was thrilled to see a Carnival of Nursing in Public take shape.  I hesitated on participating for a moment because my youngest weaned a year ago.  The matter of nursing in public and the bigger issues of our culture's stunted growth in this area, however, continues to compel me to speak on the topic.

 As I skimmed the list of post ideas for the carnival, one suggestion caught my eye - breastfeeding and religion.  I was born, raised, and currently live in the Bible Belt, and I've been a practicing Southern Baptist for each of my thirty-three years on this planet. 

I consider myself well-acquainted with evangelical Christian culture*, and I would feel comfortable with saying that many evangelical women feel uncomfortable with nursing in public.

Why?

• Fear of being immodest.

• Fear of tempting a man to sin with lustful thoughts upon seeing a flash of breast.

• Fear of making people uncomfortable with the simple act of nurturing and nourishing a child in the very way our Creator God designed our bodies to be able to do.

Ultimately, we have collectively swallowed our culture's poisoned message that declares breasts to be singularly sexual, therefore breastfeeding is something to be covered.  

I know so many evangelical Christian families who are taking great care to raise their children in a Christian worldview.  Everything from education curriculum to a trip through the mall is filtered through the lens of God's Word, but in the matter of breastfeeding, we are falling far short. 

Entirely too many contemporary Christians see the body of a woman exactly the same way our culture does . . . "a breast is a breast -- it's a sexual thing."  Yet this sentiment stands in direct opposition to God's Truth as revealed through creation. 

God's Word acknowledges briefly the sensual allure of breasts in the Song of Songs - the Bible's love story filled with poetry and figurative language.  But we find far more mentions of breasts fulfilling the role of nourishment mentioned in the pages of Scripture (see 1 Kings 3:21, Job 3:12, Isaiah 49:15, Isaiah 66:10-11, and Luke 11:27 for starters).

To agree with our culture's corrupted view of breasts and breastfeeding is to deny God's beautiful, exquisite design. According to His perfect plan, breasts are dual-purposed wonders of creation, perfect evidence of a holy blend of function and form.  Oh, how it must grieve the heart of God to see what we - even we!  Those called according to His Name! - have allowed our thinking to become regarding His incredible design.

What I would like to suggest to my brothers and sisters in the faith today is that we embrace a shift in paradigm. 

• What if we, the Body of Christ, reject the notion that breasts are merely sexual things? 

• What if we, His children, decide to agree with God that His plan for feeding our babies and children is, indeed, a wonderful plan? 

• What if we, the Church, declared that the act of breastfeeding reveals God's glory?  What if went so far as to say that because it invites communion with the Creator, because it glorifies Him, and because it speaks volumes about the Sustainer of Life, that breastfeeding is a beautiful act of worship . . . an act of worship to be honored, not hidden; an act of worship to be encouraged, not embarrassed of?

It begins with you, nursing mama.  This little revolution begins when you grab hold of that truth that breastfeeding your child reveals the glory of God's creation.  Breastfeeding is all too often not easy.  Worship sometimes intertwines with sacrifice.  Worship Him through the painful moments and worship Him in the incredible and beautiful and blessed moments.

It continues with you, sister in Christ.  Let's do what we can to support the mamas who are breastfeeding.  Let's offer encouragement and a comfy place to nurse and maintain eye contact when a little one latches on rather than squirming around uncomfortably.  Let's pause and thank God for His perfect design.

And we need you, too, Christian brother.  I would ask you to embrace the fact that part of God's amazing design for women is that breasts can be sexual and life-giving.  I would ask that you see breastfeeding as glorifying to God and know that many women do find it to be a worshipful experience.  I would ask that you not make a big deal out of it if a woman breastfeeds near you - I promise you that no woman will find it offensive if you continue to talk to and interact with her in the same way you were before her little one latched on to eat.

The Church is to be a peculiar people, an assembly of believers called out following The Way.  Can you imagine how beautiful it would be if we were to lead our culture in embracing nursing in public as completely normal, appropriate, and pure?  In my most hopeful of dreams, I imagine a time in the not-too-distant future when a nursing mama needs to feed a little one in public, she knows that nursing in front of Christians means she is nursing amongst friends.

To further the discussion, I would like to recommend:

Why I Nurse at the Mall . . . and at Mass by Kate Wicker
Religion and Breastfeeding: How Breastfeeding Impacts the Religious Woman by Jennifer M. Paquette
Lactivism and Public Breastfeeding by Tim Challies

* I realize that Christian culture varies wildly, both by denomination and geography.  I fully admit to a rather limited scope, and so just know that because I am most familiar with evangelical culture, that is the culture I am most comfortable in addressing.  If you practice a faith or belong to a denomination that is ahead of the curve on normalizing breastfeeding, please share about your experience in the comments!

wise mama encouragement for breastfeeding a toddler

I so very rarely publish back-to-back re-runs, but this is life right now. I first ran this post two years ago when AJ was a 1.5 and still nursing. I've been feeling all nostalgic for those days lately, so it seems timely to re-publish this sage advice from one of my most dear mama mentors:

As I've shared in my SortaWhat? post, I practice child-led weaning.  Dacey weaned just after her second birthday, and at twenty months, Aliza Joy is still breastfeeding.  AJ is, in fact, a much more enthusiastic nursling than her big sister ever was as a toddler.  When Dacey was this age, she nursed only before nap and bedtime; she was never what you would call a comfort nurser. 

(She was however a total paci addict and didn't give up her paci completely until she was nearly three and a half.  Clearly the need to suck was still there, it just manifested itself in a different way.) 

AJ is very much a comfort nurser.  She wants to nurse before nap and bed, when she is hungry, when she is thirsty, when she is hurt, and a lot of the time I think when she is just bored.  Lately this has become quite physically and emotionally exhausting for me, and I've been seriously considering initiating the weaning process with her.

I asked some friends for advice, and my mothering mentor Karen (wise and gentle mama of seven) offered me some helpful insight.  I wanted to share parts of her response with you:

What is it like to breastfeed a toddler?

Over at Code Name: Mama, Dionna has been running a series called Joys of Breastfeeding Past Infancy, and I have so enjoyed hearing the perspectives of others on their extended breastfeeding/full-term breastfeeding experiences have been like.

Reading through the thoughts in that series brings back fond memories for me of nursing my own girls past infancy. Dacey weaned right at two (when I was newly pregnant with AJ), and AJ weaned at twenty-one months.  That remains sorta incredible to me, considering that before I had children, I was completely skeeved out by the thought of nursing a baby who had teeth!  I just truly couldn't imagine it.  It was hard enough to imagine what nursing a newborn would feel like - but a child?  A walking, talking kid?  Weird.

So what happened?  How did I get from creeped out to nursing long past infancy?

Paradigm Shift: Breastfeeding as Worship

Welcome to the July 2010 Carnival of Nursing in Public This post was written for inclusion in the NursingFreedom.org. All week, July 5-9, we will be featuring articles and posts about nursing in public ("NIP"). See the bottom of this post for more information. ***

As someone who has been writing about breastfeeding from the outset of blogging, I was thrilled to see a Carnival of Nursing in Public take shape.  I hesitated on participating for a moment because my youngest weaned a year ago.  The matter of nursing in public and the bigger issues of our culture's stunted growth in this area, however, continues to compel me to speak on the topic.

 As I skimmed the list of post ideas for the carnival, one suggestion caught my eye - breastfeeding and religion.  I was born, raised, and currently live in the Bible Belt, and I've been a practicing Southern Baptist for each of my thirty-three years on this planet. 

I consider myself well-acquainted with evangelical Christian culture*, and I would feel comfortable with saying that many evangelical women feel uncomfortable with nursing in public.

Why?

• Fear of being immodest.

• Fear of tempting a man to sin with lustful thoughts upon seeing a flash of breast.

• Fear of making people uncomfortable with the simple act of nurturing and nourishing a child in the very way our Creator God designed our bodies to be able to do.

Ultimately, we have collectively swallowed our culture's poisoned message that declares breasts to be singularly sexual, therefore breastfeeding is something to be covered.  

I know so many evangelical Christian families who are taking great care to raise their children in a Christian worldview.  Everything from education curriculum to a trip through the mall is filtered through the lens of God's Word, but in the matter of breastfeeding, we are falling far short. 

Entirely too many contemporary Christians see the body of a woman exactly the same way our culture does . . . "a breast is a breast -- it's a sexual thing."  Yet this sentiment stands in direct opposition to God's Truth as revealed through creation. 

God's Word acknowledges briefly the sensual allure of breasts in the Song of Songs - the Bible's love story filled with poetry and figurative language.  But we find far more mentions of breasts fulfilling the role of nourishment mentioned in the pages of Scripture (see 1 Kings 3:21, Job 3:12, Isaiah 49:15, Isaiah 66:10-11, and Luke 11:27 for starters).

To agree with our culture's corrupted view of breasts and breastfeeding is to deny God's beautiful, exquisite design. According to His perfect plan, breasts are dual-purposed wonders of creation, perfect evidence of a holy blend of function and form.  Oh, how it must grieve the heart of God to see what we - even we!  Those called according to His Name! - have allowed our thinking to become regarding His incredible design.

What I would like to suggest to my brothers and sisters in the faith today is that we embrace a shift in paradigm. 

• What if we, the Body of Christ, reject the notion that breasts are merely sexual things? 

• What if we, His children, decide to agree with God that His plan for feeding our babies and children is, indeed, a wonderful plan? 

• What if we, the Church, declared that the act of breastfeeding reveals God's glory?  What if went so far as to say that because it invites communion with the Creator, because it glorifies Him, and because it speaks volumes about the Sustainer of Life, that breastfeeding is a beautiful act of worship . . . an act of worship to be honored, not hidden; an act of worship to be encouraged, not embarrassed of?

It begins with you, nursing mama.  This little revolution begins when you grab hold of that truth that breastfeeding your child reveals the glory of God's creation.  Breastfeeding is all too often not easy.  Worship sometimes intertwines with sacrifice.  Worship Him through the painful moments and worship Him in the incredible and beautiful and blessed moments.

It continues with you, sister in Christ.  Let's do what we can to support the mamas who are breastfeeding.  Let's offer encouragement and a comfy place to nurse and maintain eye contact when a little one latches on rather than squirming around uncomfortably.  Let's pause and thank God for His perfect design.

And we need you, too, Christian brother.  I would ask you to embrace the fact that part of God's amazing design for women is that breasts can be sexual and life-giving.  I would ask that you see breastfeeding as glorifying to God and know that many women do find it to be a worshipful experience.  I would ask that you not make a big deal out of it if a woman breastfeeds near you - I promise you that no woman will find it offensive if you continue to talk to and interact with her in the same way you were before her little one latched on to eat.

The Church is to be a peculiar people, an assembly of believers called out following The Way.  Can you imagine how beautiful it would be if we were to lead our culture in embracing nursing in public as completely normal, appropriate, and pure?  In my most hopeful of dreams, I imagine a time in the not-too-distant future when a nursing mama needs to feed a little one in public, she knows that nursing in front of Christians means she is nursing amongst friends.

To further the discussion, I would like to recommend:

Why I Nurse at the Mall . . . and at Mass by Kate Wicker
Religion and Breastfeeding: How Breastfeeding Impacts the Religious Woman by Jennifer M. Paquette
Lactivism and Public Breastfeeding by Tim Challies

* I realize that Christian culture varies wildly, both by denomination and geography.  I fully admit to a rather limited scope, and so just know that because I am most familiar with evangelical culture, that is the culture I am most comfortable in addressing.  If you practice a faith or belong to a denomination that is ahead of the curve on normalizing breastfeeding, please share about your experience in the comments!

photo by celesteh
Welcome to the Carnival of Nursing in Public Please join us all week, July 5-9, as we celebrate and support breastfeeding mothers. And visit NursingFreedom.org any time to connect with other breastfeeding supporters, learn more about your legal right to nurse in public, and read (and contribute!) articles about breastfeeding and N.I.P. Do you support breastfeeding in public? Grab this badge for your blog or website to show your support and encourage others to educate themselves about the benefits of breastfeeding and the rights of breastfeeding mothers and children.

<center><a href="http://www.nursingfreedom.org/p/carnival-of-nursing-in-public.html" title="Carnival of Nursing in Public"><img src="http://www.babydustdiaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/inip1.png" alt="Art by Erika Hastings at http://mudspice.wordpress.com/" border="0"></a></center>

This post is just one of many being featured as part of the Carnival of Nursing in Public. Please visit our other writers each day of the Carnival. Click on the links below to see each day’s posts - new articles will be posted on the following days:

July 5 - Making Breastfeeding the Norm: Creating a Culture of Breastfeeding in a Hyper-Sexualized World July 6 – Supporting Breastfeeding Mothers: the New, the Experienced, and the Mothers of More Than One Nursing Child
July 7 – Creating a Supportive Network: Your Stories and Celebrations of N.I.P.
July 8 – Breastfeeding: International and Religious Perspectives
July 9 – Your Legal Right to Nurse in Public, and How to Respond to Anyone Who Questions It

A Practical Solution for Nursing In Public

Have you had a chance to read 50 Reasons for Breastfeeding Anytime, Anywhere from PhD in Parenting yet?

It's a great list that examines reasons from human rights to just because in encouraging women to breastfeed their babies in public.

Though I no longer have a nursling in my brood, the topic of how to handle the logistics of breastfeeding in public continues to engage my interest.  Earlier this week, a friend who has just given birth to her second child asked me for a recommendation on nursing tops.  Though I've breastfed two children into toddlerhood, I've never owned a single piece of nursing clothing, so instead, I shared with her this article I wrote back in January 2009 on how I managed the logistics of nursing in public:

One thing I never did get the hang of when I was nursing Dacey was how to do the whole nursing in public thing.  When she was an infant, I had overactive letdown and overabundant supply issues, and those two things combined made those early weeks and months a big, milky mess.  Even when my supply evened out, my concerns over modesty combined with a lack of confidence kept me from attempting to nurse her outside of our home.

However, when Aliza Joy was born, I found I didn't have a choice.  We had to be at playgroup and prayer coffee and church and the library and all kinds of other places outside of our home at precisely the times little AJ needed her mama milk fix.  Thankfully when I was still pregnant with her, one of my mama friends shared a little tip with me that made a huge difference in my breastfeeding in public success the second time around.

The secret?  A plain old ordinary camisole.  Much like this one from Old Navy.

Here's how it works:

1) When baby needs to eat, find a comfy spot and settle in.
2) Unbutton your top or pull up your shirt (I'm almost always in some kind of t-shirt, long-sleeved or short, because I'm glam like that), but leave the camisole down against your body.
3) If you are wearing a nursing bra (I recommend it in those early weeks), unsnap it and pull your breast out of the top of the cami.  Latch that baby on and you are good to go!

I love the cami underneath because in all honesty, it's not so much flashing a bit of breast and nipple that concerns me when I am breastfeeding in public - it's the thought of the prolonged exposure of my unsightly mama middle to friends and passers-by who didn't sign up for that kind of trauma when they left the house that day.

Now, you can spend the big bucks for the "official" kinds of nursing tanks out there today (or better yet, let your friends and family buy those for you!), but really, an $8 cami from the local discount store works just fine, too.  If you can find a cami with a shelf bra then all the better because as we nursing moms know, those nursing bra cups are made with inappropriately thin material.  Why?  Why do they do that to us?  I don't get it.  Anyway, a little extra material for some extra coverage is a nice bonus.

I know some people prefer a nursing cover.  In the early weeks, it might be helpful to have, especially if you have the overabundant supply or overactive letdown issues that I had in the early days with both girls.  But as we all know (and this video perfectly illustrates), there comes a day when that wee one refuses to be blanket-ed!  And I think using this cami-underneath-system works so nicely when you can't or don't want to use a blanket or nursing cover.

The simple camisole is a simple solution for mamas who are nursing in public.

What tips for nursing in public success do you have to share?

photo by Tim and Selena Middleton

Pumping At Work Can Work!

Editor's note: Contributor columns usually run on Tuesdays, but technical problems allowed us to practice flexibility this week.  I know you'll enjoy today's column from contributor Jaime!

photo by northpolemama

I returned to work full time as a practicing attorney when Little Belle was 3 months old.  At that time I was still breastfeeding her.  Things were going really well on the feeding front, and I wasn't ready to rock that boat, even though I would not be with her during every day.  So I set out to come up with a workable plan, and today I'm sharing a few of my tips and tricks. 

If you have done the "pumping at work" thing before, most of this is probably old hat to you.  But hopefully there are some mamas out there who are wondering whether pumping at work can really work.  If you're trying to combine a desire to provide your child with breast milk, whether exclusively or in addition to a formula or solid food diet, with a day-to-day life that includes many meal times for your child when you are not directly feeding him/her, maybe you'll find some encouragement here.